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UT Austin Topic C, "Growing up as the oldest of three brothers"


jdsada98 2 / 2  
Dec 1, 2015   #1
Hi any suggestions or improvements I could make? Thanks

Growing up as the oldest of three brothers, in a low-income household, with a single parent who did everything she could to help me and my brothers get ahead in life. I intend to make sure her sacrifice was not in vain. I've had to mature at a younger age than most. I couldn't afford to have a regular childhood, I had to be a role model for my brothers and I had to help out my mother as she did everything she could to support us. This has been a driving motivation for me to be successful. My goal in life is to be the best I can possibly be. Everything I've done is to advance myself. In school I've taken several AP classes that have taught me responsibility and time managing habits. I also have a passion for computer science and have since I was young. After taking three years worth of computer science classes at school and studying different programming languages at home during my free time, I know that computer science will be a part of my life forever. I learned how to develop an iPhone app last summer and I am currently working on creating my own. Even though I've gone through struggles in life, I also know that many others have it worse. I learned this when I started volunteering at a shelter for immigrant children. These are kids from mostly central American countries who crossed the border in hopes of a better life. They are taken to shelters until they can find them a suitable home. They made me realize how lucky I am to have access to so many opportunities to improve my life and the lives of others and I intend to take advantage of them. I am also interested in the global community, I am involved in Model United Nations class at school and will attend conferences in San Antonio and New York in the coming months. Besides my native language Spanish, I have also taken three years of french classes which I hope will help me become a more cultured individual.

Tennis has also been an important part of my life, and from it I have learned patience, maturity, and problem solving techniques that I can apply to other areas in my life. It takes dedication to become a good tennis player, if you're not willing to put in the hours then you wont be very good. It requires mental and physical training because when you are facing an opponent of the same skill level then the match will be determined by the smartest and most mentally tough opponent. I believe that my dedication to tennis has helped me flourish in many other aspects of my life. It has taught me to work hard for what I want and to never give up. I strive for perfection in everything even though I know no one is perfect, I hope to get as close as I possibly can to perfection, in every aspect of my life.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Dec 8, 2015   #2
Juan, as I read your essay, I believe it's well written, straight to the point and answers the prompt properly.

I also liked the fact that you have one full paragraph and not the usual segmented or small ones, however
full, your paragraph didn't have that crowded feeling or like congested essay. The details of your essay is
properly portrayed in the information that you have and it is not difficult at all to comprehend.

Just for future reference, try to incorporate a good mix of everyday conversational English words
with some bold ones to balance the essay.

Overall, I say good job on this writing endeavor, I wish you the best of luck in this application and do
let us know what happens, we'd love to hear from you.


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