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ADDITIONAL DETAIL ABOUT YOU FOR ADMISSION COMMITTEE to write my recommendation)


donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 26, 2010   #1
Hey guys.... one more up the sleeve. Deadline approaching. 1 oct. please help. Thanks
If necessary, use this space to provide additional detail about your background or academic criteria -- information the Admissions Committee may find helpful during the review of your application.

This is it! The big moment when I am given a chance to write my recommendation. Of course, I would love to say I am smart, cool but I guess that is something I have to reflect through my essay. I discussed this essay with my younger brother about my exceptional qualities that would rock the admission office; apart from him falling off the chair laughing... the comments were discouraging.

My personality and character have been deeply influenced by my home town, my school and my family. Jodhpur, a hot and dusty city situated near India's western frontier, is very unique in its diversity. Apart from rich heritage and culture, there are many traditions and old religions which gives Jodhpur a quaint old world charm. I come from a city which is steeped in colour and magnificent monuments; an oasis in the desert also called the blue city.

My family is an important aspect of my life. My thoughts, my character and even my career choices have been inspired by my family. My father, though extremely strict has been a great source of inspiration. I also want to be a professor like my father who is passionate about teaching and research. My mom is my confidant and best friend. She is the one who encouraged me and gave me confidence to chase my dreams. The last but not the least is the twin power... my brother and my dog. My brother, I am afraid has been my punching bag for so many years that it's a miracle he has still stuck with me. His attempts to copy me were secretly pleasing, even though I would act annoyed. He is a eternal optimist where as I am take things more to heart. I don't let him that even I am copying him. When I asked for a dog, I wanted to have a companion and a friend; I got a baby- A Pug. A brat at heart and pampered like a prince, he lords over us. I became a proud father at the age of 13 and six years later, my baby is... well, still a baby!

My faith, Jainism is an ancient non theistic religion which is practiced by only 4 million people in world. Though, I am not deeply religious, I connect with Jainism through its ideals and teachings. It has taught me to be more compassionate and caring towards other living beings. I am a vegetarian. I am also an animal lover and have been volunteering at animal shelters. For me, caring for environment and animals is also a religion. I am looking forward, to discuss my beliefs and values with students from different nationalities and also learning more from them.

Academically, I have always had good grades especially in maths all through my secondary school. In my high school, I took advanced maths because I felt I could cope with it. I had problems in certain topics and unfortunately, could not get adequate help. In hindsight, I realise that in my secondary school, my professor would help us help us personally by patiently clearing up all our difficulties. In grade 12, my maths mark was dismal and I was depressed. Therefore, I took a year off after grade 12 because I wanted to pursue my other interests and improve my academic weaknesses before I went to college. Today I believe my decision has paid off and I am confident that I will do more than just take up valuable space and will be able to participate and contribute in the class as always.

My school life was mostly uneventful. It was just a chapter in my life- like many others. I walked in the corridors of school invisible to others. I used to wish often that I could be a part of the limelight but never knew how to do so. I guess, when I become grandfather, I will not have many nostalgic stories about my school life to tell my grandchildren! I regret that, and it has made me more determined to go to an excellent institute to study where along with academics, I can enjoy my campus life.

The turning point in my life was attending extracurricular camps. When I was fourteen years old, I went for river rafting camp to a remote place in Himalayas called Tons. It was like exploring a new exciting world and five years on my love affair with adv. Sports contd. I went for outdoor survival where I learnt trekking, search and rescue and roasting potatoes. They were the awesome potatoes I have ever had.

The camps that I attended prompted and widened my environmentally awareness. I feel the most pressing problem today is dealing with enormous amounts of wastes we generate. On a micro level, we need to start doing so in our homes. On macro level, we need find ways better ways to deal with industrial, nuclear and toxic wastes ,to mention a few. It is also the compelling reason why I wish to come to Purdue.

Purdue has a long tradition of encouraging research and will be an ideal platform to exchange ideas with the diverse community in college. I have heard so much about the vibrancy of the campus life at Purdue from my friend, who is studying there that I feel will fulfil my dreams. I have dreams and only those who dream can live them. I wish to fulfill my dream of coming there and then continue to dream some more....
sabs 5 / 8  
Sep 27, 2010   #2
great piece, however, work more on applying more personal and descriptive work to pull the reader to your story. This is your last chance, make it change there minds for admission.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 30, 2010   #3
Hello Donrocks,

I'm sorry I didn't get to see this until now. We have hundreds of essays lately. I do notice how much you help other writer, and I think you deserve to have us help you a lot for that reason. I'm glad Mark was here to give you this last round of feedback, and I hope it is a success!

This is very cool: I discussed this essay with my younger brother about my exceptional qualities that would rock the admission office; apart from him falling off the chair laughing... the comments were discouraging.

No need for a comma in this kind of situation:
My faith, Jainism is

need one mor f:
fulfil fulfill


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