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|Why Swarthmore? International student writing about political liberal
3 - Hi, Sasha, Thanks for your help! Actually, for the very first sentence, I wanted to differentiate Swarthmore from other top colleges,...
UndergraduateCindyWang98 - 01:06am / CindyWang98 - 10:52pm
|USC application, need someone to read it!
2 - Hi Abby, I'm pleased to read your essay. While you can explain well your experience in your family, you have great...
Undergraduateskigirl343 - 07:46pm / fahmisadja - 10:37pm
|UC Prompt 2 - Moving from Afghanistan to the States, dealing with poverty, culture differences, more
3 - Moving back to the States from Afghanistan was a jarring transition, to say the least. Back in Afghanistan, my father was a...
Undergraduategello - Yesterday / kpopgirl - 09:45pm
|UT Austin Topic C, "Growing up as the oldest of three brothers"
2 - Hi Juan, I was really impressed when I read your essay. Such a great writing. I didn't find any grammatical...
Undergraduatejdsada98 - 07:07pm / fahmisadja - 09:23pm
|I only eat air and I think I'm better than everyone else
NEW - Hi, I need help editing my college admissions essay for the Common Application. I'm afraid that the essay is too awkward or...
Undergraduatekpopgirl - 09:17pm / — -
|Building a bridge from my visions to my reality - Claremont McKenna Short Essay Question
3 - This is some impressive feedback from justivy. I'll share a few thoughts, too. Usually, it is a great practice to...
Undergraduatehus4144 - 01:47pm / EF_Kevin - 09:02pm
|I'm an enlisted sailor - USNA Personal essay question
4 - @vangiespen, I typed up my first edit of my original essay. Tomorrow during the work day I'll fine tune even more. I've...
UndergraduateYNnope - Nov 28, 2015 / YNnope - 08:23pm
|FAMILY HISTORY ESSAY - HELP NEEDED
3 - Sasha, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. - However,I share the same love my grandmother - ...
UndergraduateiSasha - 06:18pm / justivy03 - 07:22pm
|Why Barnard? Stellar academics, vibrant surroundings and independent drive. College Supplement.
3 - Instead of furthermore, I'd want a transition that shows synthesis of the pros. Perhaps "to that end" or something. To remove...
Undergraduateklyteshep07 - 07:19am / andyis - 07:11pm
|How will your Semester at Sea voyage create (or enhance) your personal global perspective?
2 - I liked your essay. "The intercultural exchange between peers on the ship, and local communities off the ship is one of...
Undergraduatelidorf - Yesterday / jdsada98 - 07:05pm
|'the smell of arroz con pollo and freshly made lumpia' - Different Experiences Essay
3 - Calvin, as I finish proof reading your essay, I conclude that it's quiet premature to submit your essay at this point. ...
Undergraduatecalvincruz - 04:17pm / justivy03 - 06:53pm
|Write a brief statement outlining your personal and academic goals
3 - HI Friction, Let me try to comments your essay. You are good to explain your words with simple and understandable sentences....
UndergraduateFriction - 05:26am / fahmisadja - 06:24pm
|UT Essay Topic C: Coloring in my Character
6 - That's good to hear that we were able to help, so Alisha, below are my remarks for the conclusive part of the...
Undergraduatekibawa - Yesterday / justivy03 - 05:27pm
|Motivation letter for bsc Economics. Can someone check it if its good or not?
4 - Gzsofi, as I proofread your essay, here's my remarks. - the essay is quiet weak, very premature for submission but it's...
Undergraduategzsofi - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - 02:29pm
|Standing Alone/ Common App challenge a belief/idea
3 - Dawson, first things first on your essay. The segmented or small paragraphs on your essay does not work very well,if the goal...
Undergraduatehoreyd - 11:11am / justivy03 - 01:46pm
|The Beauty of Equality, my religious pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia (Personal Statement for UW)
3 - Mrahman, I'd like to share my insights to your essay. - My chest beats rapidly, as I near theto sound of...
Undergraduaterahman786 - 03:49am / justivy03 - 12:57pm
|Seconds become minutes, and then hours, and then days, but I will value every single one.
1 - Stanford short: What matters to you, and why?(100 to 250 words) Is this essay depressing in a bad way, off-topic, or...
UndergraduateShiro - 01:17am / — -
|Living in Dubai, I wasn't a part of a tight-knit community like I was when living in Los Angeles
2 - Hi Hasheem... To be honest, I like your essay. While you can enrich your description about your background, you have best...
Undergraduatehashemmm - Yesterday / fahmisadja - Yesterday
|UC Transfer prompt 1 & 2 - Help with structure and coherence
NEW - I have a huge problem procrastinating, so I'm looking for any help with both of my personal statement prompts. Any help is...
UndergraduateWholelottalove - Yesterday / — -
|"What if this truck ran me over?" - UC Personal Statement about Overcoming Depression
2 - - I have struggled with depression and anxiety for the majority of my teenage years. Because of, with the stigma - ...
Undergraduatesarahann98 - Yesterday / justivy03 - Yesterday
|The day I was born, my parents immediately had tremendous aspirations for me - UC Application
5 - Parker, as I finish reading your essay, I conclude that you did a good job in responding to the prompt, Precise, direct...
Undergraduateloopywaffle - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Yesterday
|My background and how the passing of a parent has shaped me today as a student/person.
3 - Kalden, as I read through your essay, I don't see the need of the last two sentences to be separated from the...
Undergraduatekaldenjorkhang - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Yesterday
|How my abandonment at 13 has influenced who I am today
3 - Hy Kit_kAT, I have read your essay, in one hand I'm really interested with your own. Yet, I found a few mistake....
Undergraduatekitkat - Nov 29, 2015 / Ra_fhli - Yesterday
|'overwhelmed with emotion' - Transfer Applicant - George Washington University
11 - Thank you for the help! If ever there's something I'd like to add to the essay, I'll post it here. :-)...
Undergraduatedaisylad - Nov 25, 2015 / daisylad - Yesterday
|I am a culprit of identity theft. Personal Statement for UW
2 - Hi, as to me, I think this essay is well-written. And here are some advice (I'm only a rookie on application, so...
Undergraduatecaseychong98 - Yesterday / LucasLiu - Yesterday
|UC PROMPT 2- Battling depression and anorexia
2 - Hi Alice.. Nice to meet you in the essay forum I'm very keen on reading your writing. I acquire much knowledge from...
Undergraduatealicer333 - Yesterday / akbarmappiare - Yesterday
|The experience which I feel shaped my character the most was the Duke of Edinburgh Award.
11 - Is this version better? Am i on the right track with this one?...
Undergraduatejon4659 - Nov 29, 2015 / jon4659 - Yesterday
|Help with University of Washington Cultural Essay? What Would I Contribute to the Community?
4 - Hi Ardhaser.. I closely read you writing. This writing is very good to grammar and explanation. Your eagerness is described clearly in...
UndergraduateSilotolis - Nov 29, 2015 / akbarmappiare - Yesterday
|Parents mistake - I rely on myself to get what I want to achieve. Personal statement
6 - Hi Katie, I had to revise some minor sentences and do a few edits but I managed to get it down to...
Undergraduatekatiedirt4 - Nov 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Yesterday
|How are you and St. Olaf a good fit for each other? (100 words)
2 - Hi Roshan. Your writing is good. Your eagerness is described clearly in your writing. I believe you can improve quality of you...
Undergraduatenepal1 - Yesterday / akbarmappiare - Yesterday
|The moment I opened up myself. -overcoming autism-
10 - Thank you for editing my essay! I really appreciate all your helps. Now I see the point to "Wow" the reviewer. I'll...
Undergraduateshuto - Nov 24, 2015 / shuto - Yesterday
|Admission essay into accelerated PA program
2 - ... and put our busy lives aside to enjoy whatever it was that my mother had decided to cook that night for...
Undergraduatekitkat - Nov 29, 2015 / pbhutiani - Yesterday
|Contributing to the community! I am American-Chinese. I lived experiencing different cultural values
2 - Hi Giovanni, Let me give you some comments, I am pleased to read your essay. You have a great...
Undergraduatebestgio - Nov 29, 2015 / fahmisadja - Nov 29, 2015
|Lifetime goals - pursuing a career in the medical field
2 - very good intro! very unique! your essay shows a lot of personality which is great!! only thing that stands out to...
UndergraduateMarlyk - Nov 29, 2015 / kitkat - Nov 29, 2015
|Disneyland vacation - Short response based on culture
11 - Hi Katlyn , Sorry If I confused you. Here I will write it like this if I will be at your...
Undergraduatekatiedirt4 - Nov 28, 2015 / Ssakshijain - Nov 29, 2015
|PROUD TO OVERCOME AND BE ME UC TRANSFER PERSONAL STATEMENT
8 - @vangiespen, thank you so much again! I made some changes to what you wrote to keep it more truthful and personal. Let...
Undergraduatepeepsielu - Nov 27, 2015 / peepsielu - Nov 29, 2015
|For or Against Embryonic Stem Cell Transplants?
2 - Marlayna, I read through your essay and I believe it's written quiet well, at first I thought you were doing an argumentative...
UndergraduateMarlyk - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|eight years old Thomas / lost hopes - Common App Essay: Perspective/Background
4 - Michelle, after reading both of the essays, I believe the stronger one is the first one. It depicts not only your...
Undergraduatemellody1004 - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|My failures are my Successes- Nervous Applicant. Personal Statement UW
3 - Shubh, I'd like to share my insights on your essay with the focus on the final paragraph. - I had spent...
Undergraduateshubh - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|AP classes, UIL events, Academic Decathlon - these activities helped me achieve goals - Essay C
6 - Dustin, the revised essay is indeed shorter than the first one and absolutely better than the first one too. You see...
Undergraduatedustinthewind - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Finding Myself in Sierra Leone
3 - Marlayna, I believe you have a good essay here, you were able to properly incorporate your experience and serve as an...
UndergraduateMarlyk - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|This is two different parts of my essay for UC application, can you give me some advice?
4 - Here's my thoughts for the second essay. - My Dad laughed when he saw a plate of salad in front of...
UndergraduateShangjing - Nov 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|I had a round table discussion assignment on current supreme court cases the following week.
4 - Samantha, I agree that the essay you were able to write is indeed very well written. You did not just answer...
UndergraduateSamm22 - Nov 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Opportunities come and go, so when you have the chance to make your life better, use that advantage
5 - Appreciate your comment @justivy03...
UndergraduateBusola18 - Nov 28, 2015 / Busola18 - Nov 29, 2015
|UC Personal Statement: The Hope to Survive
5 - Alexis, it's good that you're rooting for the medical world as a career, there's not much students these days that are...
Undergraduatesimonelex - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|'lucky to be introduced to computers' - UC Prompt 1 - Transfer Essay and Prompt 2 - Computer Science
7 - Vitor, first of all, there is nothing in your essay that bothered me at all. Here in EF we are critical in...
Undergraduatenetlev - Nov 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Common App Essay- Living in Spain as a Christian Missionary....
3 - Rebecca, as much as I loved reading your essay, I see that it lacks the smooth transition of events in your...
Undergraduatemiamarie - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|The absolute destruction of my life developed into a desire to succeed. 'Obstacle' essay
4 - Thank you for your feedback and critique! I will edit and rewrite according to your advice....
Undergraduateplebs98 - Nov 28, 2015 / plebs98 - Nov 29, 2015
|4 Questions, 400 Words - Where to start? / NYU Supplemental Essay
3 - Brittany, you are very lucky to have Louisa take on the challenge of meeting the word count for your essay, this...
Undergraduatebrittanyaog - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|"USC students are known to be involved." - USC Writing Supplement Short-Answer #1
3 - Charlotte, I believe your essay responded very well to the prompt. It has all the elements needed to entice the reader and...
Undergraduatedance88 - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Experience with someone whose beliefs differ from mine
4 - Daysi, I must say, you nailed what is asked of the prompt. You made questions that are the exact questions you want...
Undergraduatetenwavess - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Collage Application Essay " What I learned from experience in CANADA "
3 - - I loved to experience new things and makingmake new friends. - I had difficulty dealing with Chinese students at there;...
UndergraduateKAZUKICHI - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|American way of life - UC prompt 1 personal statement - My dream school is UC Berkeley!
11 - I love the imagery you invoked with a lot of your word choices...very well done! I only have a few...
Undergraduatekalagang - Nov 22, 2015 / jenamenifer - Nov 29, 2015
|It took me a lot of years to realize that the person influencing me the most was my father. Intro.
7 - Thank you all for your responses. I will write an essay and repost it again . @vangiespen @hasdymath @justivy03 @anggicaroot @hasbi...
Undergraduatejoshuapradhan - Nov 24, 2015 / joshuapradhan - Nov 29, 2015
|Cynical imagination - UC Berkeley transfer essay HELP prompt 2
1 - I struggled A LOT with this essay... even until now... I can't seem to include the story and relate it... HELP ...
Undergraduatetassjoflgis - Nov 29, 2015 / — -
|US childhood and citizenship, although origins and heritage resides in India - Texas admission essay
6 - Sriram, I can only do so much to your essay as far as revision is concerned, now what you can do to...
UndergraduateSriramK - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|I am finsishing my college essays and I am having a hard time would some tell me how mine is!
4 - Katlyn, I can see that you have a following here already, it's not so good feedback but at least you have them...
Undergraduatekatiedirt4 - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|Common App Essay - "You're pretty, for a fat girl."
4 - Destinee, it's good that you call this essay a rough draft, this essay needs absolutely a lot of help. The introduction is...
Undergraduatedesi__d - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|Personal Essay for Film Major Supplemental Application
3 - Lynn, I believe your essay can be revised to make is stronger, the interest and willingness to study and pursue films ...
Undergraduatethilvnn - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|I am incredibly proud of my AP scores - UC Personal Statement [Freshman] Prompt #2
4 - Rene, I believe you have a good essay and it's a boarder line of the other essays. It feels like you...
Undergraduatewonderland562 - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
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