Unanswered [0] / Urgent [0]
 
Home / Undergraduate [24,415] - page 1 of 407

Undergraduate

Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

 sort by: Replies | sort by: Threads
NYU Tisch Film and Television Personal Story Essay - grammar / good storytelling?

2 - Jordan, welcome to the team :) I hope that you find this website is fruitful towards your writing development. However, I notice...

Undergraduatejrayeveryday - 12:06am / ichanpants89 - 08:23pm
Identity - rock climbing + what it brought to myself - how it affected me

10 - thanks for the help on my last essay, could you help me out again?...

UndergraduateArachnid - Dec 30, 2014 / Arachnid - Yesterday
Transfer Essay: Meaningful interest to complete the application.

4 - Hey there! I'll try to focus on the flow as the content is really nice! Okay so: you say "the...

UndergraduateJo1nnyJiang - May 3, 2016 / Arachnid - Yesterday
Am I happy where I am in life? Am I the person I want to be? Transition from childhood to Adulthood

3 - Hi David, here's my take on your essay. - When I entered high school , my freshman year, - ...

UndergraduateDavidTheHomie - May 25, 2016 / justivy03 - May 26, 2016
Nepal is a lovely place to live in but can't provide a proper study environment - Canada Embassy SOP

7 - Rachana, I think there is no serious problem with the content of your essay. The flow of the ideas was pretty clear....

Undergraduateshova - May 11, 2016 / ichanpants89 - May 25, 2016
What are your career goals and how do you expect your education at The Art Institute of Pittsburgh..

6 - I strongly believe that pursing my education at [...] create a portfolio to show that I got what it takes. Here...

Undergraduaterachaelspelic - May 25, 2016 / 13williamsm - May 25, 2016
Semester at Sea Essay - A Voyage of a Lifetime

3 - Hi Courtney, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, this website is aimed at providing you with the...

Undergraduatecscardecchio - May 25, 2016 / justivy03 - May 25, 2016
'Pursuing a degree in Physical Therapy was never my first choice' SOP for Applying to PT school

3 - Hi Kaitlyn, indeed, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family! Now, when it comes to your SOP, I must say it's quiet...

Undergraduatekaitlyng24 - May 19, 2016 / justivy03 - May 23, 2016
YSEALI is an opportunity to learn, experience and bring value to all others.

5 - Hi TJLuschen, Thank for your comment After posting I realized that I forgot to tell about my purpose. YSEALI...

Undergraduatetranthanhnga - May 18, 2016 / tranthanhnga - May 18, 2016
"I deserve to be here" - Appeal/Waitlist Personal Statement for UCs

3 - Merged: Appeal/Waitlist Personal Statement for UCs How should I make this better and shorten it to 500 words? Thanks! [....]...

Undergraduatephbelu - May 14, 2016 / pahoehoe - May 15, 2016
My mother is my model - she has had the greatest influence on my life

3 - Hi Trin, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, may you find this website helpful as well as useful to your writing references...

Undergraduatenhocthienbinh - May 13, 2016 / justivy03 - May 14, 2016
UCSD CSE Transfer Waitlist // New unique facilities, attracted by growth and change.

3 - Hi Jonathan, I would to share my thoughts on your letter. - student, that's interested - in augmentedaugmenting reality -...

Undergraduatejkiger - May 11, 2016 / justivy03 - May 11, 2016
"Exploring my abilities" Transfer Waitlist Personal Statement for UC Davis

4 - -... which lead led me to conclude that at Davis... (lead is not past tense)...

UndergraduateCawaLimon - Apr 24, 2016 / jkiger - May 11, 2016
Temple transfer essay from a biology major

4 - You need to remember that there is no wrong or right in making a personal statement as long as you have answered...

UndergraduateAcritton - May 9, 2016 / ichanpants89 - May 10, 2016
Assistance Writing a vice-presidential Nomination Essay for West Point?

5 - Dear Jeremy, It is such a pleasure to be working with you today. Reading your essay was moving. I do think...

Undergraduatejeremylumbab - May 5, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - May 8, 2016
What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? - Personal Statement College Essay

7 - @justivy03 Thank you so much!...

UndergraduateJeffreyGuy - Apr 28, 2016 / JeffreyGuy - Apr 30, 2016
Help me to check my gramatically essays for AAS

4 - thank you for your help and also the advice :) I will fix it again and I hope it can be...

Undergraduateazalea13 - Apr 28, 2016 / azalea13 - Apr 28, 2016
I realize that my dream of becoming an astronaut is turning into a reality

2 - This is a beautifully constructed phrase; I think maybe you are a better writer than you think!! I have some other...

UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Apr 25, 2016 / chenghao - Apr 27, 2016
"Overcoming Adversities" - My College Readmission Essay

9 - Hi Brandi, Your essay looks good to me. Fifth paragraph: ... will allow me to be a more...

Undergraduategreyfidelity - Apr 22, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - Apr 25, 2016
This is my final essay for my Introduction to Religion class. 'My spiritual journey with religion'

4 - I love the introduction in the essay. You begin by using the present tense. A great way to let the reader feel...

UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Apr 22, 2016 / wongda - Apr 25, 2016
How will the proposed to your career?

4 - Thank you very much for both of your feedback. It will be a great help....

Undergraduateluseveiogo - Apr 23, 2016 / luseveiogo - Apr 24, 2016
'fascinated by medical science' - University of Sydney will uplift my standards

3 - Luse, I have read your essay and noticed that some of sentences need revision. I reckon that the flow of ideas is...

Undergraduateluseveiogo - Apr 15, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 16, 2016
LEADERSHIP APPLICATION; tutoring/classroom assistance and noon-time/spirit activities

4 - Leadership Application Connie...

UndergraduateConnie31124 - Apr 9, 2016 / Connie31124 - Apr 9, 2016
Biochemistry - UC Davis Waitlist; I have been instantly adapted to its community

5 - Tito, first impression of the first sentence is essential. Perhaps you can take a look from an opening sentence of my personal...

Undergraduatettitogo - Apr 7, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 9, 2016
Bowling sport - college admission! help correct my grammars / change words to better ones

5 - ... , most people thought that this is a rough sport which are only meant for boys, so they usually will be...

Undergraduatekriscasso - Mar 6, 2016 / nelarizka79 - Apr 7, 2016
"Short term," "Five years," "Ten years," and "Thirty years." Undergraduate Transfer Essay

6 - I am so excited about the great feedbacks, acs121, TJLuschen, EF_Carol, and Kimbong93! Thank you! I'm working on fixing the essay now...

Undergraduatekev510 - Apr 1, 2016 / kev510 - Apr 4, 2016
College admissions essay about my most important achievements - competition and community service

4 - Hi Liltheman, I think you had the right idea in trying to help the reader capture an imagery, but bring up...

UndergraduateLiltheman - Mar 26, 2016 / kev510 - Apr 1, 2016
'A4-sized white paper' - transfer - flow of the essay, grammar, word choices, and overall feeling

3 - Hi Kevin, Overall I liked your creativity and your writing was excellent, but it's not fitting for a transfer essay. Instead,...

Undergraduatekev510 - Mar 27, 2016 / EzraKoenigsDad5 - Apr 1, 2016
To get enrolled in school - Personal statement for college admission

2 - Dear writer, I am really happy to read your essay. It is completely clear. But let me to give you any suggetions....

Undergraduateemanri88 - Mar 31, 2016 / Kimbong93 - Mar 31, 2016
How will your education at the Art institute of Dallas will help you attain your career goals?

3 - Hi Ali, I can see that you have a rather lengthy and meaningful help here from Juan and I hope this is...

UndergraduateRali6 - Mar 29, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 30, 2016
'the right place for passionate, yet undecided people like me'. This is my Why Tulane essay

2 - I am the A student who took the time (...) from beginning to THE end. ... and others who have...

Undergraduatejason19955 - Mar 25, 2016 / ainirere - Mar 26, 2016
Why you decided to apply to the department/area of Sejong University to which you are applying?

7 - It seems okay, but I suggest you that include particular courses in Sejong Univ. I heard that they have great programs for...

Undergraduatehazeltrinh - Mar 21, 2016 / Feminist - Mar 24, 2016
ADMISSION DECISION APPEAL FOR UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON.. to take further consideration

2 - Note : It is better when you limit or reduce repetitive word , in this case the using of "University of Washington"....

Undergraduatemeltinggsoull - Mar 22, 2016 / Yusri31 - Mar 23, 2016
Physics, engineering and women. Describe your career goals and the level of their implementation

4 - Hi, Sara. Even though your essay is short, I get what you are trying to say. How about changing the first...

Undergraduatesarakhalaf - Mar 19, 2016 / Feminist - Mar 23, 2016
COMMON APP TRANSFER SYRACUSE: I Dream of becoming a Unifying Communicator

3 - - Specifically, I specifically desire - becauseas I believe - towards our unification. - without...

Undergraduateqasderwdw - Mar 20, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 21, 2016
Following Nikola Tesla; Texas A&M Qatar Transfer Essay - Personal Statement - Mechanical Engineering

5 - Hi Waqas, I hope to further your essay, kindly find the corrections below; - induction experiment using a coil, -...

Undergraduatewaqametu - Mar 13, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 21, 2016
Two essays. My main achievement and My best team experience. Need your opinion!

3 - HI ... we all experience failures in our pursuit of goals in pursuit our goals the second topic is you best...

Undergraduatelenovo_kz - Mar 15, 2016 / Desty22 - Mar 15, 2016
ROCHESTER TRANSFER SUPPLEMENT: THE SKY WAS NEVER BLUE

2 - Hi Sol, there's no question that you have a good approach in the essay and in answering the prompt, well the prompt...

Undergraduateqasderwdw - Mar 14, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 15, 2016
NYU Gallatin International Transfer Essays

5 - Hi Dubois, for the second prompt, what I noticed is that the essay is quiet compact, meaning, when essays are this long,...

UndergraduateDuboisWoods - Mar 12, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 15, 2016
Tufts Undergrad Transfer Supplemental Essays (REAL Program for non-traditional students)

4 - Perhaps the stuff that you cut out is the stuff that they want to see. For the first essay, instead of raving...

Undergraduatekev510 - Mar 13, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - Mar 13, 2016
COMMON APP TRANSFER: A Little Girl Taught Me How to Communicate

3 - Hi Sol, as much as I love reading your essay, I feel like it has way too much content and the reader...

Undergraduateqasderwdw - Mar 5, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 8, 2016
Spelman girls. What can I add to my admission essay to make it more interesting original and longer

2 - Hi Natasha, I have read your essay and I would like to share some insights. To address your concern, this transfer essay...

Undergraduatemart8871 - Mar 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 7, 2016
GT transfer application essay-- what interest you about your field of study

8 - Great! I love it... only thing, you should make it clearer that youre a girl......

Undergraduatexutong - Feb 26, 2016 / sn98 - Mar 4, 2016
Description of my interests and background in science and mathematics (Columbia Univ. Sci. Program)

3 - It sounds good... I would elaborate more on why you want to pursue a career in computer engineering. Also, as Lynn88Mr said,...

Undergraduateonly_gis - Mar 1, 2016 / sn98 - Mar 4, 2016
Our family business (when you stop trying you'll fail) - incidents in life and their impact

3 - Yash, as I read your essay, I can't help but see myself, I may not be a breadwinner in my family, however,...

Undergraduateyashj0001 - Mar 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 4, 2016
The hardest of obstacles that bumped my road was starting a new life in a new country

3 - Hi Tran Thi, you need to explain how you overcome this situation, don't just talk about obstacle part, but explain how you...

Undergraduatetrth4t - Mar 2, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 4, 2016
'I, as an individual, could make a difference'; GT-LEADERSHIP, PROGRESS AND SERVICE

4 - Hi Ivy, your both essays lack the same thing, the motivation behind making computers. Here, the prompt asked you to demonstrate the...

Undergraduatexutong - Feb 27, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 4, 2016
An essay for National University of Singapore application to study in psychology

3 - Hi Lee, I would like to help in your essay and hopefully make things a little bit better for you. I...

UndergraduateWilsonSun - Mar 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 4, 2016
How I see myself in next 10-years?

3 - Fitree, given the fact that English is not your mother tongue, this is a good essay, it has a creative content and...

Undergraduatefox_mx1291 - Mar 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 4, 2016
Why did you choose field of study Rice - Torn Between Two Essays

6 - Yea that is true, but there was also the "why are you transferring" essay, which goes into depth about that. The essay...

Undergraduatecdan - Mar 3, 2016 / cdan - Mar 3, 2016
Transfer from UH to UTAustin; Statement of purpose; Comp. Sci. Major

6 - Sorry for late reply. This is going in the right direction. Some points I am looking for here are: My...

Undergraduatejpark97 - Feb 28, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 2, 2016
"A life-changing Education" - How can I benefit from study at AUC?

3 - Hi Nouran! I think you have a very good start to your essay. It seems like you have done quite a bit...

Undergraduatesn98 - Feb 28, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Mar 2, 2016
"What effect has design had on you?"-UT Austin Transfer essay

2 - Lol congratulations, I notice that in the prompt the verb affected is spelled wrong by those who wrote it but in your...

Undergraduateemhill - Feb 28, 2016 / EF_Kevin - Mar 1, 2016
My Commonapp Personal Statement - no stranger to hardship

2 - Hi Kangwoon, Firstly, mention the prompt please always with your essay. Now while reading your essay,it was good but saying that money...

UndergraduateBuffBuff - Feb 28, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 1, 2016
WELLESLEY 100 essay: A Hugely Ambitious Sisterhood

4 - Okay, I edited the first paragraph and added this: One project I have always hoped to be a part of...

Undergraduateki182 - Mar 1, 2016 / ki182 - Mar 1, 2016
Think Economics - help me with my personal statement

2 - In the whole essay I liked this part " the logical way of thinking in Economics is not guaranteed to be the...

Undergraduatebenjaminxiao01 - Mar 1, 2016 / Mr pitbull - Mar 1, 2016
APPLICATION for Bio@tech summer program at Georgia Tech

2 - Hi Mahant, your essay showed your passion clearly. However, at some stages, you are diverting from your passion and seems like as...

Undergraduatemahant373 - Feb 28, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 1, 2016
Always something to improve in China. Transfer Commonapp personal essays.

2 - ---Without secure drinking water and other fundamental infrastructures---Without reliable drinking water and other fundamental infrastructures, --- the poor living situation there surprised...

Undergraduatetifflipc - Feb 28, 2016 / Rocky529440 - Mar 1, 2016
Georgia Tech is leadership, progress and service - successfully demonstrated this motto it my life

3 - thank you for your help ill work it out tonight. and post it....

Undergraduatejhayea - Feb 27, 2016 / jhayea - Feb 28, 2016
Islamophobia is an important social issue. UT transfer topic E.

5 - Hello zeeshan! I loved the personal stories you shared and I think the middle of your essay is poetic-like. However I think...

Undergraduatehirohussain - Feb 27, 2016 / caro5ca - Feb 28, 2016

Home / Undergraduate