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|What would you fight for? & Describe yourself, Honors Program Application
4 - Definitely a bad idea Jize. The first reason that it is a bad idea is because you are talking about a country...
Undergraduateanfernee - Yesterday / vangiespen - 12:33am
|(250 words) Intellectual vitality Essay for stanford--sisters v. pilrgimage
4 - Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. Knowing what the prompt is now, I was able to analyze the essay you...
Undergraduatehgawlik8 - Yesterday / vangiespen - Yesterday
|An activist of veganism - College Application Essay / Following The Prompt?
6 - Hi Mack, well the essay really did improve immensely from the last version. It has an even deeper presentation of how you...
Undergraduatemack1738 - Sep 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Yesterday
|It all started with a workbook my mom ordered for me - My interest in Japanese language and culture
3 - Thank you again for all your suggestions! I will tweak the essay for errors and elaborate more on how I became interested...
Undergraduateamyo_98 - Oct 4, 2015 / amyo_98 - Yesterday
|"Shall we Dance" - a Japanese movie. UVA College of Arts and Sciences Essay
4 - Thank you so much for all your suggestions, I will definitely incorporate them into my essay! I will try to include more...
Undergraduateamyo_98 - Oct 4, 2015 / amyo_98 - Yesterday
|Growing up in Poland and then after 17 years applying to the US colleges - Tufts Supplement Essay #2
3 - Thank you for the help...
Undergraduatekarol16688 - Oct 4, 2015 / karol16688 - Yesterday
|Busy and the most sensitive summer 15 when something had been changed - Personal Essay
5 - Thanks a lot....
Undergraduatealimf95 - Oct 3, 2015 / alimf95 - Yesterday
|International Relations - statement of purpose (undergraduate program)
6 - -....rapidly changing/modernized (which one is better??) ( In this sentence "rapidly" is more appropriate ) - ...important figures'( in "figures", an apostrophe...
UndergraduateJustineMahone12 - Oct 3, 2015 / justivy03 - Yesterday
|Dropping grades and then recovery - to overcome my procrastination and the lazy lifestyle
3 - Wow, I didn't really think it was all that great which is why I didn't try as much as I could have...
Undergraduatetheninjacrab - Oct 4, 2015 / theninjacrab - Yesterday
|I know it's corny, but be completely honest. If it is trash, then say so or suggest changes.
4 - Hi @cjones, I hope my help is not too late, so here it is; - Going to college has always been......
Undergraduatecjones1597 - Oct 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Yesterday
|SOCIAL MEDIA - Blessing & Curse; Undergraduate Essay-Challenging a Belief or Idea
3 - - ...and thus its far more difficult to avoid. - In This way, - On onethe other hand, - ...vulnerable than...
Undergraduatemdr18 - Oct 29, 2013 / justivy03 - Yesterday
|Villanova Supplement Writing - My Grandmother and Genuineness
4 - Thank you two so much for your suggestions! I was so unsatisfied with this essay, but I guess I've been o worn...
UndergraduateCsarbeng - Oct 4, 2015 / Csarbeng - Oct 4, 2015
|Mom motivates to succeed in life
3 - Reneka, that i definitely a good opening statement for the inspiration prompt. Now all you have to do is build upon the...
Undergraduatermaxena - Oct 4, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 4, 2015
|Key Club - UC Prompt 2 - Talk about your achievement and talent
5 - Thank you for your advice...
Undergraduatekhoifish1297 - Oct 4, 2015 / khoifish1297 - Oct 4, 2015
|Learning Systems - Critique my Why Caltech essay? Intellectual curiosity in a scientific exploration
3 - THANK YOU SO MUCH, @vangiespen!...
UndergraduatedeezNuts4Prez - Oct 4, 2015 / deezNuts4Prez - Oct 4, 2015
|Unforgettable quotes from the literature - Amherst essay
3 - Well, @schang, I believe you delivered what is asked of the prompt. The points are met to be able to justify what...
Undergraduateschang2016 - Oct 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 4, 2015
|Right now, what is uniquely you?--Absence and knowledge--my story
7 - Thank you so much :)...
UndergraduateMcClungE - Oct 3, 2015 / McClungE - Oct 4, 2015
|Non-Academics That I Have Learned Through Academics University of Texas at Austin App Essay
4 - @Mack, running through your essay, I believe there are a lot of improvement to be done. So here's my help for the...
Undergraduatemack1738 - Sep 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 4, 2015
|Important life lessons from Panera Bread
3 - - ...to very many other a lot ofpeople... - aside fromother than my family and friends, - ...of my...
Undergraduateogessays - Sep 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 4, 2015
|Why U Chicago - polymath education for an aspiring critic
8 - Hi, I would like to further the help you receive from other EF contributors, I hope this helps. - In order...
Undergraduatewhipsnade97 - Sep 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 4, 2015
|More than what they expected - Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, etc.
2 - Italy, you have a very informative essay. It really depicts your circumstances in life and how you overcame them. The problem, is...
UndergraduateItalyCerda - Oct 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 3, 2015
|'hectic and busy life' - Challenges/Hardships That Affected You (Personal Statement!)
4 - - At the beginning - theof summer before tenth grade, - StartingIt started with a slight - I knew...
Undergraduatehollykey97 - Sep 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
|Essay on my religion - my story.
7 - @asad, I think you were not able to grasp what is asked on this prompt. To start with, the prompt is...
Undergraduateasadasad - Sep 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
|Knowledge is useless... (Statement of Purpose, transference, UT Austin)
4 - - ....something as beautifulacademically important as Physics,.. - ....professor along the way ofwhile finishing... - ...that because of my convictionwith my...
UndergraduateLeobosco - Sep 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
|Will admissions sneer at my essay? You decide! Applying UCF.
5 - Hi there, i'll be working on your revised essay. I hope it helps. -....campus that UCF provides comes,... - Luckily for...
Undergraduateabottzz - Sep 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
|Students from countryside - Scholarship essay help check my grammar
4 - Jackie, running through your essay, it does need a lot of grammar fixes, so let me help you out. - It...
Undergraduatejackie148 - Sep 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
|Pokemon and Me - Common App
8 - Well, Monika, it clearly looks like you were able to get a lot of EF contributors help you out with your essay...
Undergraduatepokemonika - Sep 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
|Makeup is my weak spot- Common App Essay
8 - Farukh, let me help you out with this revised essay; - ...I'm usually the most overdone/*in search of a better worddolled...
Undergraduatefafarrukh - Sep 20, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
|Time in the Army and the Horrors of Law Enforcement
7 - Ok thanks so much! I'll post a rewrite of my second essay tomorrow....
UndergraduateEnaragon - Oct 2, 2015 / Enaragon - Oct 3, 2015
|"Funny Girl" - I just am who I am, for better or worse. Emerson College - Life Title Essay
3 - I liked that. In my opinion, It would be better if you added more about your internal feelings....
Undergraduatelaurafegely - Oct 2, 2015 / alimf95 - Oct 3, 2015
|I AM STARING AT INFINITY - Essay for Film Studies
3 - Thanks. I will edit it and post it again....
Undergraduatealimf95 - Oct 2, 2015 / alimf95 - Oct 3, 2015
|Life is a process of learning, studying, and changing. Keep a kindness nature when becoming an adult
7 - Yuhuan, I see some problems with your essay that go along with the comments of the previous posters. However I have one...
Undergraduatedarkforest168 - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 2, 2015
|Physics is beautiful... (statement of purpose for transferrence to UT Austin)
9 - Hi Leo, this is a better effort than the previous essay. I still spot some areas where you can just skip the...
UndergraduateLeobosco - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 2, 2015
|Rebel soldier. Close-mindedness - QuestBridge Additional Essay #3
6 - Ayla, I agree that you should keep this particular essay less self-centered because of the way the prompt was set up. So...
Undergraduateatang09 - Sep 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 2, 2015
|I am a Mexican, and I will show what kind of people we are, we are excelling
9 - Thank you @justivy, I already fixed some of these changes on my revision posted though. I did correct some parts, thank you...
UndergraduateJoseIRL - Sep 26, 2015 / JoseIRL - Oct 1, 2015
|U Chicago Supplement - I have a mind that does not stick - the importance of 'useless' trivia
6 - @whips, it's absolutely not clear to me, what the purpose of your essay. It's a supplement essay on the prompt, "My mind...
Undergraduatewhipsnade97 - Sep 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 1, 2015
|5 reasons to be a Hokie in the city of Blacksburg - Virginia Tech admission
5 - @Absera, let's see if we can still do enhancement on your revised essay. - He and IWe both fell in love......
UndergraduateAbsera - Sep 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 1, 2015
|Is my admission counselor making my essay worse?- Autobiographical Essay for Columbia GS
4 - @Latina, I believe that your college counselor mean well when she did the remarks on your essay and I understand if this...
UndergraduateLatina93 - Sep 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 1, 2015
|College Essay (what do i bring the the campus that will enrich, life eprirences, personality)
4 - Let me try to give you some advice.. I feel as though I bring many positive impact[/i] and enriching aspects due...
Undergraduatebrockky - Sep 8, 2015 / anggicaroot - Sep 30, 2015
|'the rice trees under the fog blanket' - your day on April 29,2015
5 - Thank you very much, vangiespen :)...
Undergraduatelananh20299 - Sep 28, 2015 / lananh20299 - Sep 30, 2015
|The Statement explaining why I would want to attend the Oxford Summer School programme in 2016
5 - - "I have always been an optimistic - ...and anambitious individual, - wanting to seek new opportunities and explore new...
Undergraduatedamitrashaikh18 - Sep 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 29, 2015
|Skipping the school never was in my interest, I'm focused on the success only - UCF essay
4 - - At this school, I know that in this institution I will be... - ....doing the most that I can to...
UndergraduateAlexjagk - Sep 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 28, 2015
|"Being a Twin" - talent / background / identity question for college essay
4 - Thanks a ton! I appreciate your time to read and edit my essay! I will make some corrections....
Undergraduatengifford97 - Sep 26, 2015 / ngifford97 - Sep 27, 2015
|Why I can't eat my waffles like pizza anymore
5 - It would helpful if you include the essay prompt here so we can see if you answer it completely or going on...
Undergraduatehrgawlik - Sep 23, 2015 / AmaraCakes - Sep 27, 2015
|DEFINE RATHER THAN DEFEND
4 - @Mensa, overall, I think you did a good job in writing the essay. You were able to define and elaborate the...
UndergraduateMensa418 - Sep 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 26, 2015
|Why Swarthmore?----Social Responsibility, Media and Writing
6 - Thanks for vangiespen and lcturn87's invaluable suggestions! With your help, I feel that writing application essays are never boring!...
Undergraduateanfernee - Sep 25, 2015 / anfernee - Sep 26, 2015
|Brandeis being a Jewish affiliated university, I felt that I being a Muslim would make me an outcast
9 - Alhamdulillah *_* wow, you're like a blessing. Thank you so much! Seriously! Now I can finally submit my application. I really do...
Undergraduatewillflem - Sep 19, 2015 / willflem - Sep 25, 2015
|'I was an expert in basketball' - Lebron James is the best basketball player in NBA. Common App
3 - Thanks for your comments! Do you think this essay, after grammatical corrections, is ready to submit? (no need to improve the structure...
Undergraduateanfernee - Sep 24, 2015 / anfernee - Sep 25, 2015
|What do clowns, airplanes, and insects have in common? -- Questbridge Biographical Essay
7 - Overall, Well, as I go through your essay, your essay is written very good....
Undergraduatemelloeman - Sep 14, 2015 / acedf - Sep 24, 2015
|Art is my passion - Parsons the new school admissions artist statement (What do you make? How? Why?)
5 - I would like to help you with your essay. I have given you some suggestions and I think you needed a change...
Undergraduatemikki mccann - Sep 22, 2015 / lcturn87 - Sep 24, 2015
|How do you compose your shower song? Practice the bamboo flute in a desert--- Common App Essay
12 - I really appreciate your efforts to guide me through the editing process! And I have corrected the grammatical issues. As for you...
Undergraduateanfernee - Sep 23, 2015 / anfernee - Sep 24, 2015
|Im not just a Dreamer......Ewha Womans University: Clothing and Textile department
4 - - ...that still hadn'thasn't spoken her... - Being only an infant... - ....on how on an inflatable boat ... -...we crossed...
Undergraduatechibi_miri - Sep 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 23, 2015
|Performance Anxiety [Questbridge Additional Essay, Prompt #1]
4 - As I see, a lot of EF contributors helped you out but I hope I will be able to contribute a little...
Undergraduatedjmwilliams - Sep 20, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 22, 2015
|UChicago supplement- So where is Waldo, really?
5 - - ....smothers his meal inwith ketchup and mustard. - ....the red clothing thatevery loyal Rangers fan has donned. - No...
Undergraduatelindsey4114 - Sep 19, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 22, 2015
|Art is my voice and peace - Common Application Essay Prompt #1
3 - I'll try to help out; - Growing up as the oldesteldest of four girls - ...myself that leads me to always...
Undergraduateysilmi - Sep 19, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 22, 2015
|An experience that encompasses the meaning of diversity to you? NURSING PAPER FOR DENVER UNIVERSITY
2 - Jesse, opening your essay with a quotation is an excellent touch. It brings the topic immediately into the spotlight and delivers your...
Undergraduatejmw1479 - Sep 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 22, 2015
|Step 1: Greet Friends, Step 2:... ignore everyone and glue eyes to phone.
3 - I have to say, you certainly picked a nice essay topic for the prompt. It is a very timely discussion and places...
Undergraduateguitardude - Sep 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 21, 2015
|Born by chance - Life's Obstacles Essay
2 - Megan, first up, I would like to let you know that I am quite impressed with your story of survival as a...
Undergraduatemeganjulia98 - Sep 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 21, 2015
|Why a major in computer science is what wish to pursue - Application Essay
4 - You have to show them that choosing CSE isn't just Career choice but a passion. If you have passion for coding you...
Undergraduatemynah - Sep 8, 2015 / preota - Sep 20, 2015
|UW Madison Application. My parents' divorce. Let me know what could use improving or corrections.
3 - - It was the first Friday inof April.. - ofin my fourth grade year ( did this happen in high school...
Undergraduatelukewarm12 - Sep 18, 2015 / justivy03 - Sep 19, 2015
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