Hi! So I've been struggling on finding a topic to write about for my common app essay. I know that I want it to be related to the fact that throughout my life I've moved around a lot, never really had a place to call "home" and also that I've been able to meet lots of different people. I just started writing this and would like advice about whether I'm going in the right direction, as not only am I stuck but I'm finding it hard to transition from the "story" of my life to how it's actually helped me grow as a person. This is definitely not the final one and nowhere near done; I literally just started writing it an hour ago and need some advice! Thank you so much!
The sound of the drums palpitated beneath me, almost daring to rip off the little plastic chair from its base. The music, the cheers, the screams. The anticipation for the long-awaited event to begin was like nothing I'd ever encountered before. I couldn't rip the smile I had on my face even if I tried to. I turned to my right only to be met with an enthusiastic high-five from a man I'd never met before. The entire stadium was definitely in a trance.
Anybody else would have proclaimed it crazy to have such thoughts in the midst of all the celebrations. Ghana was about to confront Guinea in the opening match of the African Cup of Nations and looking around me, at the forty-thousand eager spectators, I couldn't help but to take a step back and simply delight in this occasion. Here I was, sitting in a stadium amidst people, young and old, from the most diverse range of races and creeds, reflecting on my life.
I was taken back to my childhood holidays in my home country of Mali, sinking my teeth into those juicy mangos that often ended up dyeing my clothes yellow by the time I was done, that my grandmother never forgot to remind Fatima, her helper, to pluck from the huge tree before my arrival. Nor the days spent at my grandfather's house watching the older women cook from the large stew pot and then later gathering with the entire family to eat from the huge dish.
Little did I know that three years later, I'd be sitting on a tiny aircraft with literally nothing but what I made out to be dozens of mountains peaks, entering the tiny country of Lesotho, where my father now worked. I was yet to meet people from a culture I had only read about in books and discover a whole new world of traditions and customs.
I don't know. To me, it's only to me, it doesn't answer anything. For example let me point out the problem zones:
'I couldn't rip the smile I had on my face even if I tried to.' But why would you want to do that in a joyous moment like that? Is there any particular reason that you might have wanted to share with the readers?
Here I was, sitting in a stadium amidst people, young and old, from the most diverse range of races and creeds, reflecting on my life. How did it reflect on your life? What particular incident really marked the significance of that diversity? I think you may need to toil on this.
I was taken back to my childhood holidays in my home country of Mali, sinking my teeth into those juicy mangos mangoes that often ended up dyeing my clothes yellow by the time I was done, that my grandmother never forgot to remind Fatima, her helper, to pluck from the huge tree before my arrival. Nor the days spent at my grandfather's house watching the older women cook from the large stew pot and then later gathering with the entire family to eat from the huge dish. This particular paragraph only tells us, the readers, that you like mangoes. And to tell you frankly, it describes the art of mango-plucking and cooking rather than exposing your personality.
There are many such empty sentences. You must really try hard to tell us something about you and only you. You have the necessary writing skills that are needed. Best of luck!! :)
