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'a world where learning will always be priority' UC prompt #1


lwgtrrn 2 / 4  
Nov 6, 2011   #1
Hey guys, this is my first essay draft so it's still really really rough. Feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I remember waking up one morning and finding a random article discussing expired yogurt lying on the dining table. My mom came into the room a second later, saw what I was looking at and laughed. "Your father's favorite yogurt was expired and he wanted to know if he could still eat it." At first I used to wonder why he'd print out web pages when no one else even bothered to read it. However, it has become such a daily occurrence that my mom and I just accepted it and created a pile in a corner for the rest of the articles.

My dad attended night classes for seven years at his local community college while balancing ten hour shifts during the day. After years of trying to do both, father realized he had to give up one. He decided his top priority would be to support his mother and he quit school.

But whenever I see those articles on our table or expired food in the fridge, I am always reminded that although he gave up school, he's never given up on learning.

Now as I take my first step towards a career involving vigorous studying and an absolute dedication to education, I realize I am not afraid. My father has taught me that expanding the mind is not a chore but a privilege. Through his experiences, I have learned that the opportunities I've been given are not to make things easier for myself. Instead, it is to further challenge myself so I....I need a strong last statement. Still workin on it! Any advice?
TuKhuyen - / 2  
Nov 8, 2011   #2
Sorry, but I don't really understand what do you want to say here?
Do you need an advice for your situation or you need a person who correct your grammars and vocabularies and/or give feedback about your ideas with your article?


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