The prompt for this essay is: "Discuss the most important piece of advice you have ever received and explain its effect on your life." I found this to be a pretty hard essay to write, as I think after a while I just started rambling, but I'm hoping all information is relevant. It must be under 500 words and this is over 377...I know I should probably add a little more...but I'm at a standstill. Any advice or editing is very much appreciated!!!
"Words to Remember"
I sat down at the first computer in the row in my journalism classroom. Pressing the power button, I began to wait patiently for the old computer to power up as I do every day. To occupy myself for a few minutes I turned to discuss the day with my journalism teacher. She asked me how my search for the perfect college was going, and I told her that I'm almost finished with applications. Then, she asked me what I will be majoring in, and I responded with Political Science, as I have known that would be my chosen major for the past two years. That was when she looked me straight in the eye and said "When you're sitting there in Washington, or wherever you may be, just always remember where you came from and what you stand for."
This advice was recent, yet I find myself pondering it often. I see modern politics today, whether through reading a news clip from CNN or watching an hour of C-SPAN, and I realize that there is not a piece of advice more suitable for politically adept students like myself. I believe that many politicians enter Washington DC, their state legislatures, or even their city halls, truly trying to make a difference and adequately represent the will of the people. However, I don't always think that's what leaves. They forget the grassroots that propelled them to where they are now. Instead of doing what's best for their people, they do what is best for their political gain. Not that I believe that every politician is corrupt, but unfortunately, there are definitely those that have succumbed to the pressure.
This advice has also already proven to be useful in high school. For leaders, pressures are everywhere, and the past few years have been no concession. I have discovered through various leadership positions that you are never going to be able to please everyone, which is why I think it is important to remember that second part of my teacher's advice, remembering what you stand for. I faced many decisions where I knew I was going to upset one group or the other, and when I made these sorts of decisions, I always return to my roots.
What could I add to this, or should I? Thanks for reading this!
While the route you took is perfectly acceptable, I would like to see you include a bit more detail. How have you used the advice during your life (be more specific), and how are you planning to use it in a future career/endeavor.
The essay prompt is fairly difficult to answer with the piece of advice you are referencing. It's so specific that it only has one application - politics. If you can think of a more general piece of advice that can help you no matter what you are pursuing, I would suggest discussing it. If not, it is fine to continue with the existing advice that you are working with.
Looking at your title again, I see your essay is used as part of a scholarship application of sorts. I think in order to win a scholarship, you will need to come up with an alternative piece of advice. People giving out scholarships tend to have different motives than universities - perhaps they will take the advice learned by the scholarship winners and publish it for profit.
It would be best if you come up with an alternative, more powerful and generic idea.
Good luck with your essay!
Going off what Th25cc said, see if you can broaden up your topic a bit and make it less confined.
I think the core idea of that advice is very powerful, and can certainly be applied elsewhere. Politics is a great field for it in specific, but in order to give the statement more credibility you need to open it up and show that it's more versatile and applicable to all of life.
