Winning last year's science fair; Scientific Achievement Answer- Supplement NYU

One of the things that truly intrigue me in this world is science. Science has such a broad field of knowledge it never stops amazing me; the word itself derives from the word "scientia" meaning "knowledge". I discovered this passion in a very young stage of my life and my desire for experimenting and discovering new things grow every single day.

The scientific achievement I will always be proud of was winning last year's science fair. My project was titled: "Is Antibacterial Soap really Effective?" You may ask; why in the world would you question something that sells because it's been on the market for years, it was quite simple; I needed to prove this "fact". The project was based on collecting samples and then growing bacteria colonies on agar plates for several days until we could conclude if our hypothesis was correct or not.

This project will always have an emotional attachment to me because, first of all I got to do something new that derive from all of the knowledge I had gain from my summer internship in molecular biology, secondly I dragged my best friend along and being the "fashionista" that she is, making her into a "scientific nerd" for a few days was quite fun. I will never forget the day I received the news that I had won, I was simply astonished, not because I didn't believe my project couldn't win but because I forgot it was a competition. My excitement for showing the world what I had discovered overpass worrying about winning the prize.

I feel like instead of science, you should be more specific. Also at the end, make sure you tie it all together. It seems like its going off on a tangent.