Want to get into the Soccer team; My Queens Personal Essay

Any syntax or grammatical errors here? Thanks!

In an essay of 300 words or fewer (approximately 1950 characters with spaces), write about your goals for your time at Queen's University and beyond. Your answer will be evaluated for content and writing style.

Being a Sergeant in the Singapore Armed Forces for the past two years was a life-changing experience for me and I am sure it was a unique one as well because not many people have the opportunity to be in the military. A personal goal of mine would be to make use of my leadership and independence to have a positive impact on my peers, not just academically but also in their everyday life.

One of the first things I hope to achieve at Queens would be to get into the Soccer team. Given my background in the sport, I just might have an edge over the rest trying out for the team. Beyond graduation, my childhood dream of featuring for Manchester United Football Club may be a little too far-fetched. Nevertheless, I will still aim to continue enjoying and trying to excel in the game.

Other than bringing my personal qualities to the table, I would also like to use my time at Queens to benefit from my peers what life have not been able to teach me thus far. I would not look at being in Queens as just another chapter in my life but as a learning experience - to make friends, to excel in the academic and athletic fronts, to improve on my work habits, and to add to the diversity in the school's culture.

I may still be unsure of whether my future is in Canada or Singapore but I am hopeful that being at Queens would help me decide on which would be the more viable option to take for the benefit of my life ahead.

i think you can change this line,

I may still be unsure of whether my future is in Canada or Singapore but I am hopeful that being at Queens would help me decide on which would be the more viable option to take for the benefit of my life ahead.

- looks like you are uncertain on something - which is not needed to be mentioned here.