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USC Transfer Essay Prompt - What Matters To Me & Why


EDD 3 / 6  
Dec 13, 2009   #1
Please write an essay, approximately 500-700 words (typically one page) in length.

USC's speaker series "What Matters to Me and Why" asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered, and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.

I was wondering what pieces of information should I take out to match the length of 500 - 700 words. Also, I would appreciate some revision of my essay and comments on how I should improve on this.

Thank you very much.

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Someone once said, "Dreams and goals that are not written down are just wishes." Everyone has a wish, and they would like it to come true. Unfortunately, wishes are imaginary not realistic. What is realistic are your dreams and goals. In my view, dreams can play an important role in life, providing a vision of the future to inspire, motivate and even plan. A person with great dreams can achieve great things. Successful people have always pressured the fact that they got where they are through education and through their dreams and goals. As hard as I want to visualize myself in their shoes, that picture will never be the same until I am actually walking in them. I want to be successful like them in the future and the only way to do that is to start at the beginning: with education. It is true that life is full of ups and downs, but the endgame remains the same. Attending a prestigious college with a degree is what matters to me.

Ever since I was a child, I have been living a leisure life here in the United States, considering the fact that I was born in Seoul, South Korea. Learning English was part one of achieving my goals, but taking advantage of this language helped me achieve many things in life, but most importantly in schools. During my time as an elementary student, I always thought that school was not important. I did not do homework, failed tests/quizzes, and did not respect my need for education. Child psychology would tell you that once a child is burdened with failing homework and tests, they try to compensate by "showing off" or "acting out". In my case, I "showed off" by being a troublemaker. My rambunctious attitudes towards education, teachers, and adults made me the bane of their existence.

During the 5th grade was a very difficult time for me because I couldn't understand the materials that my teacher taught us. I constantly failed tests and my homework received low grades. After a rigorous parent-teacher conference, my parents told me that the best way that I was going to get the education that I needed was to attend private school. I realized the impossibility of graduating from a public school with my friends. These young students had an abundance of experiences behind them, and I was a mile away from them. As hard as I run to them, there were many obstacles in the way. In order to catch up, I had no choice but to attend private school. As strange as this may sound, attending a different school was part two for achieving my goals.

While I attended private school, I had a lot to reflect upon my past and realized what a huge mistake I made in my life. Taking this into account, I have worked hard and went to after-school tutoring for my studies. I have realized that every time I study hard, good grades will be given to you and they have. I received numerous awards from my school for academic achievements and won the respect of my teachers. I constantly kept studying and read books and this has helped me graduate from the 6th grade. It took me 2 years to realize that a working experience will help you achieve your goals. I have changed and matured as a student as well as a person with morals and ethics. This was part three of achieving my goals.

After completing high school, I thought about majoring in Biology, so that I may help others with illness and other unfortunate applications. My mother has always told me that I am always a winner. But in order for me to be the winner, I need to plan to win. Studying hard and working hard was my rudimentary plan. I tried not to deviate from that plan by not partying with my friends, not completing my assignments and not ditching my classes. Now that I have graduated from high school, I am one step closer to achieving my goal: completing college with a high degree and a good job in the future.

I would like to think that I have achieved many, but my experience with education does not end with me completing K-12 schools, in fact it's only the beginning. In college, and through the rest of my life, not only will I continue to learn through my own experiences and what life has given me, but I will also offer my own unique perspective to the world around me.
lilminkzmayb 2 / 2  
Dec 13, 2009   #2
Someone once said, "Dreams and goals that are not written down are just wishes."

who is this someone?
OP EDD 3 / 6  
Dec 15, 2009   #3
It was anonymous.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 15, 2009   #4
I want to be successful like them in the future and the only way to do that is to start at the beginning: with education.---> this is a good sentence! Let it be the last sentence of paragraph 1.

Start paragraph 2 this way:
It is true that life is full of ups and downs, but the endgame remains the same. Attending a prestigious college with a degree is what matters to me. Ever since I was a child, I have been living...

That is a good transition.

During the 5th grade was a very difficult time for me because---> You should PRECEDE this sentence with a good topic sentence that tells the main idea of the paragraph... it should be a good topic sentence that tells what point you are making in the paragraph.

You write very well, but google this: how to write good topic sentences


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