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University of Washington Freshman writing advise; great introductions


Meiling 2 / 3  
Sep 10, 2012   #1
Can someone give me advise on how to write a great introduction for the following prompts? I want to learn how to create an opening paragraph that will grab the reader's attention right from the get-go.

The two prompts are:
1. Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
I wanted to write an essay about how I have learned to balance out my activities while overcoming many challenges. For example, I compete in track & field, I'm involved with community service, I'm really focused on my academics (AP classes), and I have to watch what I spend due to my family's financial issues.

2.Describe an experience of cultural difference or insensitivity you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?
I'm half chinese and my first language was Cantonese. I'm often mistaken for either being Latino or sometimes Japanese. I lean towards my asian side since I always hang out/ visit my asian cousins. I celebrate chinese new years and of course, I love tea and rice!

Any advise or opinions are welcome!
tanvi3595 3 / 8  
Sep 17, 2012   #2
okay my suggestion for the following prompts is as follows:-

1. Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
For this prompt perhaps you can actually introduce it with a story...kind of a narrative,say "I rushed to my AP classes! On the way I realized I had to speak to the head of ...wherever you work!" while I was evaluating my further steps my mind switched to another topic...."This was my daily routine!" n then in the later paragraphs narrate what these activities taught you!! how it developed ur skills etc etc...

2.Describe an experience of cultural difference or insensitivity you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?
your idea is fine! be sure to elaborate it well with adequate examples so that it looks personalized. You can supplement it with several real life instances! be sure to have a good structure and a sound flow!!

All the best! :)
OP Meiling 2 / 3  
Sep 17, 2012   #3
Thank you so much

This is what I have so far for the second topic. I'm kind of stuck right now.

"Hey, what are you having for lunch?" my friend asked curiously. I glanced down at my food: fried rice with a side of spring rolls. I guess my lunch isn't exactly the typical American lunch. In fact, I'm even using a different utensil: chopsticks. Oh and did I mention my beverage is jasmine tea? I guess I can't help it. This is a part of my culture. This is a part of me.

I'm proud to be half Chinese and half Caucasian. These two cultures are rather- what's the word- totally unrelated. But perhaps that is what draws me closer to my ethnicity. My mother is Chinese and my Father is American. They stand at opposite ends of the table. My mother prefers bitter foods while my father prefers sweet ones. My mom likes to "tear off the bandage" quickly while my father likes to take an indirect approach. I am the reconcilement of these two different cultures. I take the best of each and make it my own.

Over the years, I have developed different outlooks on things. I am able to take indirect and direct approaches depending on the situation. I tend to come off as a shy person, but when the time is right, I will be assertive.


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