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UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL; Personal Statement Essay for Exchange Program


emilia putri 1 / 1  
Sep 25, 2013   #1
Prompts : Please describe yourself and write a ckear and detailed description of your academic objectves and the reasons why you wish to pursue them in USA. Discuss your goals both in terms of your field of study and your own personal development. describe the type of program you wish to pursue in the USA and how it relates to your academic background and interests and your objectives for the future. 350-500 words.

i really needs oopinions and critics on my essay, so i could show that i'm the candidate they're looking for through my essay. thank you everyone for your feedback.. :)

My name is emilia, i am the first child in my familly. i believe i'm a unique individual with a great determination. I am a hard worker, independent, and ambitious, i also really love to explore and try new things. Currently i'm taking business major in Prasetiya Mulya Business School which is known as one of the best business school in Indonesia. i have gained many experiences during my study here, one of them is by joining the Student Activity Club (SAC) that i'm interested in, i currently join the Traditional dance club at school, which i believe this is one of the most effective way to plant the nasionalism and more knowledge about indonesia's culture into young people especially in this globalization era. Not only joining SAC, i also involved in several committees as the coordinator of financial division of some events that the school's Student Board held. in here, i learned about team work, organization, and leadership that i believe would be a great preparation for me to jump into the real working life in the future. I think it's a good think to be involved in many positive activities to enrich my expereience and knowledge as well, therefore i also did a couple internships last year, to give me a little bit of taste of how the real working life situation is, it also could help me expanding my networkand sharpen me to be more roffessional. Other than Internship, i also became the head of social project that was also held last year, to help building a library for the unfortunate children that can not have educations in the rural urban area of my hometown.

As someone who has always been interested in creative industry and economy, taking business major really appeals to me as it allows me to use my creativity and push it to the limit, doing one of the most important jobs in the company or even starting my own business. It is also interesting for me since it's really connected with the real situation in the real life. In the long term, i would like to graduate with cum laude and get my bachelor of economic degree,I also want to have the experience of studying abroad either it's an exchange program or a schoolarship for graduate program to get my master of business administration degree.

My aim in studying business is to have better understanding about how business practice, the economy industry, and how to be more inovative and creative as an entrepreneur or in management level.

In the future, i would like to contribute to strengthen indonesia's economy situation. because i understand how business could elevate the society's purchasing power by giving them better opportunities in terms of jobs, and prosperity.

i've always been dreaming to study overseas, especially in America. I believe by having the opportunity to study there, i could gain new experiences and skills that would be very useful through the process to obtain my goal. Not only i could practice my english to be more fluent, i also could learn and interact more with international communities, and experience culture diversities, where i believe could help me sharpen my communication and leadership skills. It also could help me reach better understanding about how the business practice, and the creative industry in the perspective of one of the strongest coutry in the world. By absorbing as many lessons and knowledges as possible i hope it could help me grow as a person to be an inovative entrepreneur and a great leader in the future

The program that i wish to pursue in the USA is business. As it is connected with my major. Moreover, i do believe that my field of interest is to find opppotunities that other people don't see, and to turn it into something that deliver values and good impact not just for me but for other people's life too. That's why i want to be one of the Global UGRAD schoolars, to help me obtain my goals and dreams in the future by preparing me to be more mature and creative in facing challenges ahead. Moreover, I also hope by the UGRAD exchange program, i will be challenged both academically and personally through different experience, and could help me enrich my education as a learner and have new perspective of life and ways of thinking.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Sep 27, 2013   #2
My name is emilia, i am the first child in my familly.iI believe i'mI'm a unique individual with a great determination.

... hey ...please don't forget to follow the golden rule of starting the sentences with capital letters even when you are doing essay drafts. It's a must to appeal other's attention. ...LOL

. I am a hard worker, independent, and ambitious, i also really love to explore and try new things.

Ok dear.... these would be just mere statements if you do not display these qualities through enough evidence. So, tell these qualities through your experiences, achievements, situations you handled etc. etc. It is them who would judge you and you need to convince them you are so.
OP emilia putri 1 / 1  
Sep 29, 2013   #3
thank you for you reply, beside evidence to support my argument, what do you think about the overall content? is it too much? isn't appealing at all?


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