'understanding economic and social laws' - Rice university

Hi,
I am a new member and would request for anyone to please review my Rice University Essay onto the question: With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study.(2000 characters)

Any feedback will be highly appreciated.

'Wide spread poverty, misery and crises in many parts of the world are strong reminders that understanding economic and social laws can make an enormous contribution to the welfare of people.' Said Gary Becker. This quote reminds me of the problems ailing Africa. For change to happen a lot has to be incorporated in the mind of the one who is interested. The school of social science in Rice university will provide me an array of opportunities. Through the Gateway Program, I will have an opportunity to pursue research as an undergraduate where I can work as an assistant to a faculty research or make my own research which I may present at a national conference. I will also have access to many internship opportunities which will help acquire working experience. Through the international ambassadorship, I will get to explore the world and get more connections. This will help me build my leadership skills. Through the summer fellows, I will be able to take on summer internships all over the world; this will help open up opportunities and experiences. I will also have a chance to come up with projects aimed at solving today's challenges through the Global Urban Lab. The program will enable me to study and travel abroad and the findings I will get will be presented at a national conference. I will also have a chance to interact with leaders at Rice and beyond through the program. Having the opportunity to have breakfasts with distinguished guests is also quite amazing. It will enable me to interact with them and share with them brilliant ideas. This will also help build on leadership skills, traits that are highly required in our community today. The school offers a complete opportunity to combine my interests in varying courses and come up with my own major by providing numerous interdisciplinary studies and opportunities for students . Through all these, I will gain quantitative, analytical and leadership skills which will help me fight for change in the world.

Regards.

Ok, good try, but can be much better. You should include some of your own experiences and make your essay more PERSONAL! i mean i can put my name in front of your essay and it would apply to me. Tell them why you want to study social science, and such. Needs to be rewritten if you have the time. But grammer is good :D

Also edit mine!

Thanks for the advice. I will try changing that to make it more personal.