UConn College Essay Help, My First Job

I'm using the Rutgers university essay topic and this is kind of finished essay. let me know if it needs more or any kid weird logical or bad sentences. thank you!!

My First Job

It only takes one moment to change someone's future. It was on March 5, 2007 that I started tutoring my 5th grade student. He wasn't the best of students and had poor academic skills. His mother wanted someone who was an excellent student and had great morals. She had chosen me to help morph her underachieving child into a respectable student. The reason I chose to tutor was because once upon a time in my life I was an underachieving student just like my 5th grader.

I was in the 4th grade, and my parents had received my first marking period report card. They glared at the paper as if they we're reading an incomprehensible language. My mother and father looked at me with face of disappointment. I grabbed the report card and saw for myself what they saw. I had failed all my academic classes except for science and math. They knew that if didn't do something now that my future could take a turn for the worst. Luckily, I had a brother who was 7 years older than I was and could possibly help me with my troubles.

With the help of my brother, I managed my way through the 4th and I promised myself to never get on to such a declivity of education. I knew that I had to work hard and dedicate myself at what I was doing so, setting goals and obtaining them is the first priority to me. I don't see this as a stage in my life, but a progression to a better student and civilian. Change is always for the better in my opinion.

How would I benefit from and contribute to such an environment? I am apart of an organization called Heroes and Cool Kids. This organization reaches out to local elementary schools to inform students of kind on bullies, drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.

I love helping anyone who is in of assistance. I can benefit from the environment at University of Connecticut by extracting and taking advantage of my surroundings. My fellow classmates and professors will provide a wealth of experience and information to be put to good use. I can also give back to the community by helping my fellow peers and providing different morals.

I was in the 4th grade, and my parents had received my first marking period report card. They glared at the paper as if they we'rewere reading

My parents [i]mother and father looked at me inwith face of disappointment.[/i]

except for science and math

They knew that if did notdidn't do somethingnow that my future could take a turn for the worst.

Luckily, I hadhave a brother who wasis 7 years older than I wasam and could possibly help me with my troubles.

I managed my way through the 4th grade

dedicate myself atto what I was doing so

setting goals and obtaining them iswas the

I don'tdo not see this as a stage in my life

I love helping anyone who is in needof assistance

environment at University of Connecticut by extracting fromand taking advantage