I chose to apply to the University of Central Florida because of its nursing program.
Can you be more specific? Lots' of schools have nursing programs. What is unique about you? What is unique about your mission in life?
I chose to apply to the University of Central Florida because of its nursing program. Ever since I stepped foot into high school I knew that I wanted to become a nurse.
and work in the medical field. All nurses do.
As I did my research on different schools that I would like to attend, UCF appeared to be the best one for me. Wasted sentence.
Knowing that the staff cares about its students, was even more of a reason for me to apply to this school.---All schools claim the staff cares.
Separate this into paragraphs, do not state the obvious, get rid of that obvious last sentence, and... figure out ONE KEY IDEA that is going to be planted in the reader's mind. What is YOUR unique theme? What is your vision?
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