What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
Not many high school students transfer schools at the midpoint of their sophomore year. The transition from a large public high school to a small private school was more than nerve-racking. I've arrived at the conclusion that diversity is essential in any community, especially colleges. Born in a multicultural melting pot like Miami, it's pretty safe to say I'm not your "average Joe". The son of a Frenchman and a Cuban refugee, I grew up eating arroz con pollo for lunch and crępes for dessert. My entire childhood was like one magnificent feast, an experience I will never forget.
Every night, I knew right away when my family's daily ritual of sitting around the dining room table for dinner would start when my dad walked in the front door letting everyone know of his arrival by yelling "Bonjour tous le monde!" (Hello everyone!). Usually, my dog, Luna, would be the first to arrive at the door to meet him, probably because she knew he was already here by the time the car pulled into the driveway. If no one answered to his call, which many times was the case, he would ask where everyone was. The unlucky one who actually did greet him would have to explain the absence of the other family members, finishing homework, taking a shower, or even completing the dinner in the kitchen. Most of the time, this responsibility fell onto my shoulders. By the time my father changed out of his work clothes, the entire family would sit at the table ready for another one of our memorable meals.
Just imagine my father sitting in his favorite sofa-chair with his reading glasses on the tip of his nose, which by a miracle of God did not fall off, reading the mail while my mother in her favorite cooking apron is taking a steamy plate filled with a chicken surrounded with garlic, carrots and potatoes and setting it on the granite kitchen counter asking my older sister, who is on the phone texting some friend, to help me set the table. All this happens while my brother walks through the kitchen in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, walking from the bathroom to the laundry room asking why, even though he owns 20 pairs, he cannot find a single pair of boxers in his drawer.
My mother, being Cuban-American and having lived in France for a year, knows her way around the kitchen. This normally meant that every night we would have a good balanced and unique dinner we had not had in a while. Some nights we will have teriyaki-marinated salmon baked in the oven with a salad, and the next night we will have pork chops cooked on the BBQ with potatoes and an avocado salad. Since dinner time is the only time that the entire family is together during the week, it is always tradition for everyone one by one to say something interesting about their day. Whether it is something they learned at school or an event that happened to them that day. Since my father, especially my father, doesn't see the rest of the family all day since he wakes up before the rest of the clan does, he has the urge to say every bit of detail of his day that he can. My brother nicknamed him the "living monologue". When my mother, being Cuban, is also trying to get her words in, and then my two siblings and I try to converse, it just causes one great pandemonium.
When people ask about my personal background and family, all I can do is just smile knowing that there is not enough time in the world to describe to someone what goes on in one week at my house. So when I go to a friend's house for dinner and I see that it is exactly like dinners on TV shows and in movies, I know right away that there is something missing, and the something is diversity. In a college community, I know for a fact I will not be like everyone else in the crowd, I am not your average student.
Good afternoon :)
I have edited the first section and then made some more general comments in regards to the remainder of the piece:
"Not many high school students transfer schools at the midpoint of their sophomore year. The transition from a large public high school to a small private school was more than nerve-racking. I'veAvoid using contractions in formal academic writing, as they are inappropriate. arrived at the conclusion that diversity is essential in any community, especially colleges. Born in a multicultural melting pot like Miami, it's pretty safe to say I'm not yourAvoid using the pronouns "you" and "your" in formal writing; try using "me," "I," or "one" instead. "average Joe". The son of a Frenchman and a Cuban refugee, I grew up eating arroz con pollo for lunch and crępes for dessert. My entire childhood was like one magnificent feast, an experience I will never forget."
What does all of the detail about the dog have to do with how you will contribute to the diversity of the UCF community?
I really like the conclusion paragraph, as that is the first place where you really talk about diversity and how it impacts your life. That should be the centerpiece of your essay; try to shift the focus to that rather than all of the minute details about the dinner, as that's not the focus of the prompt.
Regards,
Gloria
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