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UC prompt 1 transfer - Cognitive Science. It made inspired me to further my studies in psychology.


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Nov 25, 2008   #1
Coming into my second year in college, I decided to go into Psychology as my intended major and further my studies into cognitive sciences bachelor's associate. When I first stepped into my psychology 1 class, I was not prepared for the dynamic curriculum I was about to encounter from my professor. Lisa Farwell, the psychology 1 professor I took, has truly broadened my perspective in society. There has not been a single class where I was not left stimulated and hungry for more analysis about the mind function and reasoning. Her enthusiasm drew me into a world filled with social and body analysis. It was more than just an understanding of one's mind, but also an explanation of where in the body it came from.

Though my psychology professor has left her footprints in my academic journey, I would owe my true inspiration from my junior high-school girls. This is now my third year into teaching these young lively women. From sharing heartaches from peers, to blissful celebrations as getting their first kiss, and even the dark moments as death in family members, encountering these girls has been one adventure that still leaves me at a loss of words. Humbled to receive these precious hearts, I did my best to more than empathize, but rather open up my heart to them as well. Just this past year alone, I've been through a rough break up, one parental crisis after another, and my UCLA admission withdrawn. Sharing it with these girls led them to grasp maturity at a young tender age. We've laughed, cried, and even sang together at a local karaoke. The lasting impressions made inspired me to further my studies in psychology.
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Nov 25, 2008   #2
Prompt #1

What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement. *
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 26, 2008   #3
Good evening :)

Mechanically, make sure you are capitalizing proper nouns and the first words of sentences only; as such, "Psychology" shouldn't be capitalized. The general rule for numbers in formal academic writing is that if it is between one and ten, it should be spelled out; if it is 11 or over, it is acceptable to use the numerals.

"...the psychology 1 professor I took..." this is awkward and should be rephrased. Where did you take her?

Avoid contractions in formal academic writing, as they are inappropriate. For instance, "We've" should be "We have."

In regards to content, I like your topic; it is not "run of the mill" and that will help your piece stand out. I like your organization as well; this makes the piece easy to read as it stays on topic and move smoothly. Nice work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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