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UC Prompt: 'Stale air'; I want to make my grandmother proud


Schzarvette 2 / 5  
Nov 29, 2012   #1
UC Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

As I pushed open the heavy door of the ICU, I heard the beeping of the various heart monitors in their assigned rooms. I knew that in one room, I would see my grandmother recovering from surgery. Eventually I came across her room, entered, and saw the woman who raised me, the woman whom I have grown accustomed to seeing so strong, look so unfamiliarly vulnerable. Her eyes were closed shut due to some swelling, and tubes were attached to her that hooked onto countless machines. To see her like this was horrifying and my initial reaction was to cry. I could not help but think about what life would be like without her.

I began to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt thinking about how I have treated her in the past. She has always been there for me even when I was disobedient. I then decided to cancel all my plans of two weeks to dedicate all my time to her at the hospital, similar to how she has always stuck by my side in times of need.

During my stay in the cold, uncomfortable ICU room, I became aware of the stale air. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days. I began to reflect upon my grandmother's wishes if she were to pass. She has always been persistent with me about going to college to be successful in life. I yearned to fulfill that wish of hers, not just for her but for me as well. Moreover, I came to realize that I had to prioritize certain aspects of my life. Education was number one on my list, right next to family. My grandmother always told me "A stunning woman is nothing if she has a dim mind. " That saying echoed within the walls of my head.

Furthermore, my grandmother constantly put into view about how my mother was having a difficult time working because she did not have the chance to finish college. I want to make my grandmother proud and in that ICU room, I promised her and myself that I would be successful in anything I do, especially in education.
OP Schzarvette 2 / 5  
Nov 29, 2012   #2
bump, please critique my essay, be harsh.
OP Schzarvette 2 / 5  
Nov 29, 2012   #3
Does this show how this experience relates to me? I need some suggestions please!
Salikron 5 / 21 1  
Nov 29, 2012   #4
your essay is very good. ^^
you have great detail,unity,and cohernce.
but I'm sorry couldn't come up to check your gramma. because I'm still weak about it. T^T


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