Since I am not an expert at writing essays, I would greatly appreciate it if I receive some feedback. You can be as critical as you want.
Prompt #1: Describe the world you came from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"You are going to the club because I know it is best for you!"
The thought raged at me for days. Determined to help myself overcome chronic stage fright, I knew the club was the perfect opportunity to help me speak comfortably in front of people. However, I was apprehensive about the club. It is common for all children to be nervous when it comes to encountering new experiences, but multiply that anxiety times ten for me.
When my junior year of high school arrived, I was booted out of my nest of comfort into something quite uncomfortable called "public speaking." I thought I would not survive my new setting, that is, until a few months later when I came across the word "Toastmasters" in a flyer at my home. As a member of a speaking program called the Toastmasters International Club, the world's number one public speaking club, my dad developed a local, after school six-week Toastmasters Youth Leadership Program at my brother's middle school to help students who have speech deficiencies. I was stunned toward this opportunity shown right in front of my eyes.
The force to pull me out of my comfort zone was too much to resist. For countless days, I reminisced over how I had spent my past life in school living in fear of standing in front of crowds of people. It's true. Like King George VI shying away from the microphone, I also had a habit of constantly isolating myself whenever I was confronted with a public speaking opportunity.
I realized it was time for me to accept my fear. Attempting to successfully complete my college studies would prove to be more challenging than necessary if I were not to conquer my fear of public speaking.
The first day at the club was nerve-racking. To make matters worse, I had to record myself on camera each week so that I could look at myself after oral presentations. Being forced to look at myself on video every week was excruciating, but I thought of it as a benefit for me to improve.
As a result of my club efforts, every participation activity and oral presentation in English class grew less painful and more enjoyable. The agony I had experienced in my Toastmasters "trials" was transformed into the confidence I had lacked for years.
Joining the Toastmasters club has awakened an urge inside me that I had never felt. I suddenly want to express myself as freely as possible and accept "speaking" as a friend rather than as an enemy. I want to apply my newly gained learning experience to succeed in college studies and my passion in becoming a dentist. I found out dentistry is not just fixing teeth and using tools, rather speaking is the most important due to establishing important relationships between dentist and patient.
Awesome idea to start of your essay with dialouge. I like your consistent use of phrases. I was a little thrown off at the very end where you mention your intrest in dentistry. It was just a little strange. Your essay was mainly about overcoming your fear of speaking, and it flowed well, but mentioning dentistry at the end seems like it was just thrown into the essay. I wasnt really expecting your intrest in detistry, but rather an effective closing sentence about your triumph & conquering your fear of public speaking.
