UC Essay 1 - A library full of children

Read & give me feedback on my first draft, please! I'll be glad to read yours in return, thanks :)

It is a typical Friday after school. My friends, tired from the week's stressful schoolwork, gather at one person's house or a restaurant to talk out their pent-up feelings and to rest their brains. However, I head to a slightly different place that provides me the equal quality of emotional satisfaction and relief, it not better. On my way there, I stifle my fatigue and liven up for the exciting next two hours. Shortly thereafter I finally arrive at my destination: the local city library. With no time to lose, I wear my volunteer's tag and dash to the children's department.

As a veteran only child, I have naturally developed a strong liking for little kids. Besides my daily share of tests, homework, and studies I also long for a company of spirited young children in my life, and the library provides it to me perfectly. I love the little Hispanic boys who clap their hands and laugh when I read Spanish stories to them in my rudimentary Spanish. They giggle at my awkward pronunciation, especially the pitiful sound of the rolling 'r' that fades away from my Asian tongue. I have much fun on stage when I perform puppet shows and the pre-school kids laugh at my efforts to mimic a bird's chirp or a lion's roar. Through the sense of accomplishment manifested in their finished craft activities, proud smiles, and energetic bursts of "Thank you," children constantly communicate to me, with unfeigned excitement, that they enjoy the reading programs that I help prepare for them. Holiday seasons are my favorite times of the year because some children, after making their cards for families and friends, trot up to me, hand me a card with treats, and wish me a happy holiday.

The children in the library have fueled my passion for humanitarian services in general. I have acquired a much more sincere attitude toward my responsibilities for other people after personally witnessing the positive influence of my effortless work in children's learning experience. During the three years of my elementary career in a small library community, I have realized that awareness of my work's influence on others should always accompany my pure instincts and personal desires when pursuing any professional career in the wider world. Thus, as a chemical engineer in the future, I not only aspire live up to my passion for chemistry but also to contribute to relieving the global energy crisis and pollution problems that affect the world's entire living population.

Is "talk out" appropriate in the second sentence?

It should be "if not better." You have a small typo you wrote it instead of if. And I agree with bluebellia I believe "talk out" there sounds poor. Also the line "I have much fun on stage" sounds poor. I feel like your essay is just a very average essay. In my opinion it doesn't feel completely sincere, but instead an essay that you believe that the colleges will love since it deals with volunteering and helping children. Write about what you are passionate about. If this is then I would work on it but it is a good start.

I think it is good. It means to vent and talk about issues until you feel better.

The way to improve this is to take out unnecessary words:
However, I head to a slightly different place that provides me an equal amount of emotional satisfaction and relief. not better. On my way, there , I stifle my fatigue and liven up for the exciting next two hours. Shortly thereafter, I finally arrive at my destination: the local city library. With no time to lose, I wear fasten my volunteer's tag and dash to the children's department.

See what I mean? Brevity is important.

I have acquired a much more sincere attitude toward my responsibilities for other people after after personally witnessing the positive influence of my effortless work in children's learning experience.

Adverbs and adjectives drain the life out of writing. :-)

totally

The children in the library have fueled my passion for humanitarian services in general. I have acquired a much more sincere attitude toward my responsibilities for other people after personally witnessing the positive influence of my effortless work in children's learning experience. During the three years of my elementary career in a small library community, I have realized that awareness of my work's influence on others should always accompany my pure instincts and personal desires when pursuing any professional career in the wider world. Thus, as a chemical engineer in the future, I not only aspire live up to my passion for chemistry but also to con tribute to relieving the global energy crisis and pollution problems that affect the world's entire living population.