Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
My most favorite place is my room with my own stuff. My room has my books, toys, and PlayStation 3 games. I am only male child of male family, so most of the time; I play my game or read my books alone. I liked to stay alone because my room brings me a spiritual rest. I was born in South Korea and came to United States at age of thirteen. My parents decided to go to U.S. because this country would provide better and nicer future for me and my sister. Mostly, my parents are strict and little conservative about society. However, I think when we came here; I figured it out that they sacrificed themselves to success of their children, which I think they did something most progressive ever. With their acting, I attended school and had lots of friends that I never had in South Korea.
When I landed my foot on U.S.'s land, there were lots of ethnicities include whites, Asians, African-Americans, and Hispanics. Since I came here, I started to interest about this country's history and I bought them lots of books about U.S. History and easy English. As I mentioned above, my family is quite conservative, so every man in my family knows about how world goes and how our family started and still exist in nowadays. Because of that tradition, I started to memorize almost everything about the history, and I think I am quite smart at history. Throughout learning history, my grandfather and my teachers in elementary school in South Korea helped me a lot. With this, I used to communicate with older people, but I also enjoyed fun with my friends. However, because I loved history, which is the subject everybody hates, I did not make lots of friends I really like, that were the reason I am introvert very much when I see someone new. But if that person has one little connection with me, then I do not afraid about him or her and try to be closer with them.
When I meet these old people, they always ask me to become a history teacher or professor. Actually, my final goal is professor of history or Asian studies. As I dream about professor, I always think about that if I become professor, I have to teach students history neutrally and based on truth. For example, I knew that some of passages in history textbook contain little error. And I cannot be patient if something has written wrong about Korea in history textbook.
My introvert personality shaped my world of fantasy. I played some PlayStation action games to wipe my stress out and it has worked, so I played game for 10 days without seeing any friends during the summer vacation. Generally, I am introvert, but when there is challenge or something I can face, my personality changes to be passionate. As I will be college student, maybe I will not have a time to hang out with new friends, but if there is something I like and something that has value for me, I will take that to enjoy with my favorite subject and future major.
I think you should get rid of the first 3 sentences and start with this: I like to stay alone in my room, because my room brings me a spiritual rest.
The sentences before that one are weak, not very interesting.
My parents decided to come to U.S., because this country would provide better and nicer future for...
Since I came here, I started to become interested in about this country's history and...
As I dream about being a professor, I always think about the fact that I have to teach...
I think it will be better if you talk about wanting to be a college professor in the first paragraph, and then in every other paragraph you can talk about how various parts of your world strengthened your resolve to become a professor. Then, at the end, tell a little about why this school is the prfect school to help you become a professor. The way to make the essay powerful is to focus it on one main theme, which is your desire to be a college professor -- so let every paragraph be about how your desire to be a professor was strengthened by your experiences.
Here's what I think you should change in your last paragraph.
My introvert personality shaped my world of fantasy. I played some PlayStation action games to wipe my stress out and it has worked, so I played game for 10 days without seeing any friends during the summer vacation. Generally, I keep to myself (You used introvert already), but when there is challenge or something I can face , my personality changes and I become passionate.
