**This is a first draft! Still needs a lot of work but I'd love to get feedback! Thanks!**
I put my shoes through my doggy door, and then I followed them past the plastic flap and into my basement. It was past midnight when I returned home. I was not allowed to stay out that late since I was 13 years old, so I would sneak out. I was almost safe inside when my foot hits the side of the door and the alarm starts wailing. My heart is racing as I hide my shoes and scramble to turn on the television. I hear my father's heavy footsteps come down the stairs to ask why the alarm went off. I lie. He knows, and then he utters five words that I never thought could affect me so sincerely: "I don't trust you anymore".
Losing my father and, consequently, my family's trust ignited a burning sensation in my chest. I was heartbroken over tarnishing my relationship with them; my unwarranted actions led my clan to view me in a negative fashion. More so, I was not confident that I would be accepted or supported as I was prior to my offense. It was then that I began to grasp the value of faith.
Faith is an influential force that places value to actions and convictions. Not only is it essential to form sincere connections, but it also promotes self-assurance. For me trust is the backbone of any relationship, may it be with a relative, friend, or professor.
Once I understood the value of trust, I slowly earned it back with my family. Having them believe in my ability to be reliable, truthful, and strong felt empowering. Now, it is their confidence in my determination and intelligence that propels me forward in my quest to learn, challenge, and discover. It is this vigor that makes me a valuable addition to the Stanford community, trust me!
Is it a essay or diary ? I think it sound like a diary.
yeah, i was worried i made it too anecdotal.. thanks for the feedback
I really enjoy the last paragraph. I think that's when you start to display what it means to you. Try expanding more on trust itself and use a small reference to the anecdote.
This is my 2nd draft. Let me know if you have any more suggestions. I really would appreciate it. I'm not a very good writer so the more help the better!
Trust is an influential force that places value to one's actions and convictions. Not only is it essential to form sincere connections, but it also promotes self-confidence. For me trust is what matters, as it is the backbone of any relationship, may it be with a relative, friend, professor, or yourself.
My discovery of its importance came when I was a 'rebel' thirteen year old. As I was searching for a method to thwart my parent's authority of my curfew, I realized that I could sneak out of the doggy door in the basement. It wasn't long before I was caught red-handed and promptly grounded.
During my sentence, I recognized a discomfort between my family and I that had not previously existed. It didn't take long for me to understand that my unwarranted actions resulted in skepticism of my choices, by my kin and myself. This concept aided in my momentary loss of identity, where I believed that I could not be accepted nor supported, as I was prior to my offense. It is then I began to grasp the value and fragility of trust; it is a delicate imperative on which kinship, and the like, may flourish.
My necessary revelation gradually led to redemption with my clan. Having them believe in my ability to be reliable, truthful, and strong felt empowering. It is now their confidence in my determination and intelligence that propels me forward in my quest to learn, challenge, and discover. This constant vigor is what makes me a valuable addition to the Stanford community. Trust me!
