Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech and what do you hope to contribute to our community?
Ever since I realized that math and physics are where my passion lays, Georgia Tech has been on the top of my college list. Being a student in Georgia, I have visited the campus on several occasions. I was there to compete in the GT High School math contest, to serve as a judge for a minor award in the Senior Graduate Project fair, and was also invited to view the Inventure Prize. These experiences taught me about Georgia Tech. Each time I went there, all I feel are the eager of learning, the dedication and confidence of the students to their work, and most importantly, the excitement of innovation. That's what I want to be, and that's the atmosphere I dream of. If I can be part of the school, I will do my best to amplify these characters by both thriving academically and actively participating in clubs and sports activities. I am a 900-1000 rated table tennis player, aconstant math competition competitor, and I look forward to carry them on in college.
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The limit is 150 words max, while the paragraph above has 174. I need some advice on:1. How to thin it down a bit? and 2. How to make it better?
I am not confident about my writing skills....
I feel like I should extend the contribution section more, but I would have to cut my attraction section, which I personally believe that it will be very good and effective to the essay viewer.
Ever since I realized that math and physics are where my passion lays, Georgia Tech has been on the top of my college list
Ever since I realized that math and physics are where my passion lays, Georgia Tech had the top position reserved in my college list.These experiences taught me about Georgia Tech.
I acquired a good understanding about Georgia Tech through these experiences.Each time I went there, all I feel are the eager of learning, the dedication and confidence of the students to their work, and most importantly, the excitement of innovation.
I suggest you to rephrase this sentence to sound it more effective. I feel you can improve its flow and effectiveness.
