Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


Swimming, the discipline that inspires me - PERSONAL STATEMENT


veronikapilip 1 / -  
Nov 28, 2012   #1
Veronika Pilipenko
Personal Statement

Crowded, steamy natatoriums have become second homes on most weekends. The lanes overcome with energetic swimmers while the bleachers are filled by encouraging parents. Have gradually grown accustomed to the yelling, the smell of greasy hot dogs, and the mixed smells of chlorine; as I dive in, I truly feel at home.

At six, my father taught me to swim; he coached blind swimmers which encouraged me to learn. I saw these swimmers put all their trust in their instinct and let their passion supersede their fear. This inspired me greatly, but the fear of the deep end remained palpable and hindered my submerging my head in the pool. Even though this frightened me significantly, weekly trips to the public pool soon became the highlights of my childhood. I had never been as simultaneously excited and afraid as when I would jump in the water. I would cling to my father's arms or have my mother hold my feet as I tried paddling away.

Looking back at the depth my childhood fear, it is inconceivable that I have been on a swim team for nine years. Participating on a team made me realize that swimming exists as both an individual and a team sport. Creating personal bonds with special people who love to do the same thing helps when you have to get through that last grueling set at practice. The ties engendered are so powerful that I can now consider my team as my family. It has made me understand that loyalty and friendship are two key things in life that I cannot neglect. I am very thankful for my supportive peers and patient, demanding coaches. I feel that it is important for me to share my knowledge with those around me. There is not a day when I would not go out of my way to help a peer with their technique or help teach someone the proper way to do a flip-turn.

The discipline it takes to commit to swimming and to push yourself through tough workouts improves the ability to commit to schoolwork, and gives time to catch up on elusive ideas. Swimming has taught me that hurdles can be overcome and dedication is the root of success. I can use the will to succeed to excel in classes. If faced with a demanding assignment, I already have the discipline from countless pool practices to help me through. And, because of my swimming aptitude, I can help the college swim team compete. As I mature mentally, physically and emotionally, swimming continues to form me into the person I am today.
Edna 7 / 19 7  
Dec 3, 2012   #2
I think the content itself is quite ok but there are some some sentences that are not clear enough.
Take this for instance " There is not a day when I would not go out of my way to help a peer with their technique or help teach someone the proper way to do a flip-turn ".


Home / Undergraduate / Swimming, the discipline that inspires me - PERSONAL STATEMENT
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳