Statement of Purpose - Middle Eastern Studies - University of Texas

Hello everyone, below is the first draft of my SOP.

The necessity of changing attitudes to foster positive relationships for the future.

Iran has the potential to be Americas greatest ally in the Middle East and South East Asia. A country at the cross roads of these extremely important and troubled regions, Iran shares many of Americas security concerns in a very tangible sense. However, the intense war of words and overwhelming mistrust finds both countries speaking past each other instead of with each other. With a population of 70 million highly literate people Iran's population is young, educated, talented and most of all ready to interact with the world in a very real way. Our current regime of punishment and saber rattling only serves to help the autocratic regime in Tehran maintain a tight grip on power by suppressing the moderate, progressive majority in its society.

First and second generation Iranian-Americans have a unique ability to work past the Iranian government and interact directly with the people by visiting Iran, understanding the people and using these experiences to develop new, more positive policy alternatives. In addition to being the son of an Iranian immigrant, I am an American who whole-heartedly believes in democracy, freedom and the potentially good force Americans can play in the world. There is a strong desire in me to try to bridge the gulf between my country and the country of my family. Additionally, the ubiquity and accessibility of global communications and the rapid popularization of new media has opened a vast marketplace of ideas and understanding unknown only a decade ago. Armed with a greater knowledge of the Middle East, its history, geopolitics and relationship with the west, I hope to find means of mutual communication and cooperation.

I currently hold a BA in digital media and I hope to attain a second one in Middle Eastern studies and then pursue a graduate education in Middle Eastern studies and journalism. Having traveled to Iran many times I have arrived at the belief that there is a genuine desire for understanding and using new media there is a profound opportunity to communicate ideas. There also seems to be a narrow interest about the middle east in the younger generation of Iranian-Americans, an interest I would like to see expanded through new technologies and social forums. Iran's disenfranchised youth is looking for an outlet, we only need to reach out and seize this opportunity to see that we are all searching for the same thing; life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

and most of all ready to interact with the world in a very real way

progressive majority in its society

Armed with a greater knowledge of the Middle East, its history, geopolitics and relationship with the west

Just minor typos, but extremely well-put!

Thank you, Radwa. I always miss the little things. My main concern is that my essay is well structured and conveys a cohesive idea, as well as fulfills the requirements of a statement of purpose.

America's ----- apostrophe

At the end, use a colon instead of a semi-colon:
... see that we are all searching for the same thing: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

This is really great to read, because of course people do not encounter someone with your perspective very often. Thanks for sharing these ideas; I am sure that the AO reader will appreciate it.

One way to improve it might be to get more specific about your intellectual interests and, especially, your goals. List a few goals that you'll need to achieve in order to accomplish this.

Hi Mohammad Asfar,

You write well. There are a few errors in English that you should correct before you submit your statement of purpose.

Two of my uncles had ushered my siblings and I out of the airport
Corrected: Two of my uncles had ushered my siblings and me out of the airport.
Reason: I functions as the object of the verb ushered and should be in the objective case, me.

To see that this is correct, try saying the sentence as two parts:

Two of my uncles had ushered my siblings out of the airport.
Two of my uncles had ushered me out of the airport.

I would not fit the second sentence.

Growing up I knew I was Iranian, my dad was born in Iran and my mom is half American and half Iranian, but my heritage was an abstract notion that never factored into my identity as a child.

The first part of this (Growing up I knew I was Iranian) is a complete sentence and should be followed by a period. Growing up, I knew that I was Iranian. My father...

After my first trip in 1991 I became aware of what it was to be Iranian and became proud of my cultural history.

You need to insert a comma between 1991 and I. After my first trip in 1991, I became aware of what it was to be Iranian and became proud of my cultural history.

Whenever a sentence has a long introductory element before it reaches the subject, the introductory element should be followed by a comma.

I had never stepped foot in so ancient a land nor had I experienced history in such a concrete and tangible way. The English expression is I had never set foot.

Before beginning college in 2000 I had only traveled to Iran twice and being Iranian had only interested me as it related to my identity as a person. Put a comma between 2000 and I.

While I had originally planned on pursuing an MFA, my attention had shifted from art to Iran and the Middle East as whole.

Change the second had to has to show the proper relationship between the tenses in the parts of the sentence. The last part of the sentence should read and the Middle East as a whole.

During the last five years I have spent a lot of my spare time reading books on Middle Eastern history and it's complicated relations with the world. Add a comma between years and I. Change it's to its.

As an avid photographer I appreciate the capacity that new media has to distribute images and ideas to encourage greater communication between peoples. Add a comma between photographer and I.

By following through with a more formal education on the Middle East I hope to gain a better understanding of how I can use my photography to bridge the gaps that divide our people. Add a comma between East and I. Consider changing people to peoples so that it echoes the sentence that precedes it.

This more formal knowledge will enable me to better navigate through the region and ensure that the messages I hope to exchange are accurate and positive. Remove the word through. Navigate the region already includes the meaning of through.

Good luck,

Tampa English Tutor

It appears my new thread was merged with a previously closed thread and the latest revision wasn't carried over.

Below is my essay:

Stepping out of Mehrabad Airport into the Tehran night is one of my most vivid childhood memories. Outside the airport were throngs of mustachioed men yelling "Taxi? Taxi!", their fleet of old Paykans lining the curb and choking the parking lot. The air was warm, dry and smelled of car exhaust. Two of my uncles had ushered my siblings and I out of the airport, through the crowd of taxi drivers and into a small group of men and chador covered women. Their enthusiasm was electric. We were passed around exchanging hugs and kisses as my father introduced everyone, a family that until this moment I had never met.

Growing up I knew I was Iranian, my dad was born in Iran and my mom is half American and half Iranian, but my heritage was an abstract notion that never factored into my identity as a child. Iran was a faraway land and my family were just photographs. After my first trip in 1991 I became aware of what it was to be Iranian and became proud of my cultural history. We traveled from Shiraz in the south to Tabriz in the north and almost everywhere in between. I had never stepped foot in so ancient a land nor had I experienced history in such a concrete and tangible way. Before beginning college in 2000 I had only traveled to Iran twice and being Iranian had only interested me as it related to my identity as a person. A third visit in 2002 awoke in me a desire to understand more about Iran's culture and sociopolitical environment. Against the backdrop of the Iraq War and the inclusion of Iran in George W. Bush's "Axis of Evil", I felt compelled to understand more about Iran and its relationship with the West. I needed to understand the animosity between my home and my heritage.

In 2005 I completed a BA in Digital Media and moved into the workforce. While I had originally planned on pursuing an MFA, my attention had shifted from art to Iran and the Middle East as whole. During the last five years I have spent a lot of my spare time reading books on Middle Eastern history and it's complicated relations with the world. Lunch breaks at work are filled with reading blogs and op-eds from members of the foreign policy establishment and my conversations with people always lead to Middle Eastern politics and history. After much internal debate I have decided to abandon an MFA and pursue my real passion. The road to a Master's in Middle Eastern Studies will be long and requires many prerequisites, but it is a path that I am wholeheartedly committed to.

As an avid photographer I appreciate the capacity that new media has to distribute images and ideas to encourage greater communication between peoples. By following through with a more formal education on the Middle East I hope to gain a better understanding of how I can use my photography to bridge the gaps that divide our people. This more formal knowledge will enable me to better navigate through the region and ensure that the messages I hope to exchange are accurate and positive.

Thanks for the help,

Eric, your comments were very helpful. Thanks for reading my essay.

The original sentence was a run-on. Use a semicolon to fix ( ; )



"family" can't modify "everyone" I suggest something similar to this:

We exchanged hugs and kisses as my father introduced my family, one I had never met.



Prerequisite already meant that the course is require; therefore, using require is redundant"

Good job. This essay really show your maturity. I love how clearly you stated your purpose; the essay is easy to follow. You have some minor issues with comma, but they shouldn't be a big deal.

Good luck :)

Have time? Look at mine to return the favor! Thanks