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Stanford's School of Business - it's a good place for you


perliux13 1 / 2  
Oct 28, 2009   #1
Prompmt: Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.

Not long ago I was walking in the hallways of my impoverished school in Mexico. Broken chairs, writing on the dirty walls, and the unpaved floor was the scenario I was so accustomed to seeing. As a child, I grew up in a neighborhood where scarcity was superfluous and life, rather being an oasis, was an odyssey for survival. My family never invested in my education because they were more preoccupied in satisfying their basic needs. However, as I opened my dusty and decomposing book of basic math, a dream kindled in my soul: I will one day be a mathematician. Now, that I am in America it is hard for me to believe how close I am to converting my dream into a wonderful reality.

I have reached my senior year and a time where my future will be determined in every decision I take. I dream of going into a university that will make a good place for me and after assiduous search, Stanford has become my number one choice. Its open-minded and diverse student body will amplify my perspective of life. Its first-class faculty will challenge me to expand my intellectual horizons. Its small classes, where I could receive one-to-one interaction with my professors, will make me feel like home. I look forward to participate in its study-aboard program where I will see the world as my own classroom. I plan to major in mathematics and looking at Stanford's School of Business, it has reassured me to get my master's in business. I dream that one day I will walk in the halls of Stanford's beautiful campus and I will proud to say that I graduated from one of the most equipped and well-rounded universities in the nation.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 31, 2009   #2
Its open-minded and diverse...

That sentence is where you first started responding to their question... more than half way through the essay! So, I think you should revise to make it so that you answer their question near the start. That is the challenge for you with this kind of essay.

It is so great that your dream is becoming a reality!!! I am excited for you.

However, when you write about why stanford is the place for you do not sound like a brochure!!! Instead, name some specific professors, and some specific resources at the school. Show them that you know more about Stanford than they do!!! That means you have to do some reading online.


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