Stanford Essay : Stars live and they die.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

It was just another beautiful day on Catalina Island. Not a cloud in sight. There was a gentle breeze that made the palm trees dance. The day was long and it seemed as though the sun would never sleep. Day turned to night and the stars began to appear, one by one. I focused on one. One that seldom blinked. My perception of stars seemed to be fixed on the fact that they are luminous balls of plasma that flicker. That's it.

During the rigors of my daily routine staring at stars had become futile. But not today. I had become so fixated on one star that I felt the world crash down before me. The star was so full of life, it seemed invincible. It had blinded me, and I fell victim to the rest of my senses. Just as I became entranced with the light show before me, it happened. The star died.

Death is often bloody and violent, but this, this was beautiful. A split second before the star went; bestrewn of life. It was the bow at the end of a spectacular show. It was a flash of colors I didn't know existed. Greens and yellows and blues all combined in an array of flashes that were both aesthetically pleasing for my retina, as they were for my soul. The split second had captivated me and elevated me into disillusion. I had seen beauty in destruction. Destruction can bring pain, but this, this was new. Destruction signals the end to life, and breeds creation. Immediately following the stars death, a new star took its place. Nature simply took its course. I believe it is in our universal right to create. Create in all aspects of our lives. Whether it be friendships or works of art, creation allows expression and the process teaches us more about ourselves than we perhaps care to know.

I have always been feared change. Change is essential, and is part of human nature. It is the reason humanity exists. Our ability to adapt to a different environment, is a right we should hold dear to our hearts. Change is hard. From life to death. From a small community to a big one. It is these challenges where we learn the most. We encounter ourselves, by being both vulnerable and resourceful. The star had no chance. The star's change was abrupt and inevitable. It couldn't shape its change. We in some aspects of our life will always have the opportunity to act upon change. Our change can lead us to our greatest ambitions.

The stars will continue to shine on. They live and they die, so will humanity. We shouldn't fear death and destruction. We should reflect on the good that has influenced our lives. One day our light will die, and hopefully someone, somewhere will remember us for the beauty that lived inside of us.

i know theres grammar errors i need help on content!

about content, I just skimmed...but I don't see much you in it...


did you answer this enough for me to know you better? maybe not.. I learned about star life and persistence of humanity

Contrary to what Jonathan thinks, I saw your philosophy in your essay, especially second paragraph. However, it's vague and too poetic, while you really need to be down to earth to answer this prompt.

And I don't get how you had a transition to change

this essay isn't bad, but doesn't answer the prompt well enough.

I put the wrong prompt on here im so sorry. Thank you so much for the feedback though. Heres the actual prompt
Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an experience or an idea that you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

O, that makes a lot more sense

in this case, your essay might work just fine :D, altho i still don't get the change part.

Yea haha.
Well what i was going for the change is that the community on catalina is very small i mean we have one vons and drive on the streets in golf carts. I just wanted to put the fact that im willing to conquer any change and that being open to change is crucial especially for me. I have no idea what its like to live in a place with so many people.

LoL now this makes sense Everardo


my perception... <this seems passive. not very like you're thinking creatively. I get the idea, but rephrase some. That's it..expound what that's supposed to me.


sounds like you're staring at the sun... what else can blnd you? maybe things about how your eyes act when you look at it.. pupil dilation, etc ability to see so far...lalala


incomplete clause?


haha. here it sounds a bit funny though..pleasing to your retina? Iono..sounds cool though
I had seen beauty in destruction please guess what I'm thinking here Dx


transition here would help a bit because you add new ideas b/n the star creation thing and the latter sentence


word?


Add Yet change..


another incomplete clause...I guess it's flow of consciousness?


little vague.
reread the conclusion...few grammar and syntax fixes

content is good. I see the philosophy sort in it now...however, still the ending needs some rephrasing? Otherwise, I like the topic...it fits. ahah

Thanks!
Ive been really self concious about this essay because my english teacher didnt think i should spend my shot at stanford writing about the stars. but for some reason this essay seems right to me. i dont know but thanks a lot for your help!

absolutely no offense intended, but if you can't get in talking about the stars, then you prob can't get in at all! It's very unique, good job for coming up with the idea.

Thanks!
I have another one if you have time to read it that would be really cool.
thanks you for all your help though