We're interested in the kind of positive risk-taking energy you would bring to our University. Please describe a time when you found the courage to step outside of your comfort zone to do something unexpected and completely unlike you. Why did you take this risk? What have you learned from the experience? (up to 500 words)
Throughout my life, I have always been a very sports-oriented person, playing every sport imaginable. Whether it's soccer, basketball, street hockey, or wiffleball, I play rain or shine almost every day. My childhood was spent watching the Red Sox and inventing sports with my brother in our yard. The closest thing we had to theater in our house was forced participation in our elementary school plays and concerts, something my brother and I were never too keen on. However, at some point, somehow, I began to mature, and mature me realized she liked musical theater.
It was quite a shock, especially when last year I decided not to play basketball and instead try out for the school's musical. Well, you can imagine how that went over. Or maybe you can't, so I'll tell you. It was complete mayhem. My friends and family went crazy; "Are you joking?", "What is going on!", and of course, the threatening "You'll be back to playing basketball next year."
When I assured them that I was not crazy, joking, or having a mental breakdown, they were slightly subdued, as they realized that they couldn't really do anything about it. So I auditioned for the musical, more scared then I'd ever been taking foul shots in a big game. When we received our parts, I was given a small supporting role, making me immediately regret my decision. Why was I dancing in the background when I could be a point guard on the Varsity `1squad? I knew that I had to stick with the musical though, as the commitment I had made was just as important as any I had to sports.
I went to practice every day, and soon met and befriended many new people, which is saying something, considering I attend a school of 350 students. As I began to make friends, I wasn't as concerned about my lack of a leading role, and was therefore happily surprised when a bigger role dropped out and the director gave me the role because of my dedication.
When the musical debuted, my sports friend and family attended, no doubt still dubious about the outcome of my decision. When the show ended, I nervously awaited their critiques, only to find that they were more proud of me than I was. I was so relieved, because throughout the musical I had realized something about myself, I loved to act. Because of the risk I'd taken to participate in the musical, I now had a new group of friends as well as the respect of my other friends and family.
As I went back to the sporting world of softball and soccer with as much love and dedication as ever, part of me just couldn't wait until the next musical came around. Again, I tried out, and this time received a leading role, which I am incredibly nervous about. I think that's when you know that something is really important to you; when you're anxious that you'll screw it up.
All advice is welcome! Pleaseee?
positive risk-taking energy
Heh, heh. It would be funny if you wrote about some ridiculously inappropriate risk... not a good idea, but funny.
It's better, maybe, to start with something that is not so breezy and empty:
Throughout my life,And this "I have always been" intro is overused.
I have always been a very sports-oriented person, playing every sport imaginable.This is an interesting beginning for an essay:
Whether it's soccer, basketball, street hockey, or wiffleball, I play rain or shine almost every day. My childhood
...when you're anxious that you'll screw it up. ----Nice... great job!
My advice is like this: Take out details from the story, details the reader does not need to know, and in doing that you can make room for more self-analysis in the last paragraph. Give more analysis of the meaning behind it and especially that key insight you gave at the end.
:-)
