Soccer as a way to gain leadership skills - short answer for Common App.

alright, I know everyone else uses sports as their short answer for the extracurricular activity on the short answer, and I wanted to stand out - but I'm trying to play soccer in college, so I decided I best put it in there somewhere. I think it needs a lot of help, specifically in the area of "on topic" or not. See what you think.

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)

Soccer for me isn't just an extracurricular activity or a pastime I've taken up to keep in shape. Soccer isn't just a way for me to gain leadership skills, set goals and learn the meaning of saying "good game". Soccer isn't just a sport. For me, soccer is life. The passion I have for the game sets the tone for my lifestyle. I know practice must be taken seriously, but I know to take the game to heart, you must have fun. I've played soccer since I was 5, so it no longer feels like a choice to play - rather, part of who I am. The feeling when I step onto the field is almost reverent. Worries and doubts and fears all slip away when that whistle blows and, as one, my team begins to play. I've learned many things from soccer, and I cannot imagine my life without it.

It's also exactly 150 words. I feel like it's too abrubt. Comments?

First of all, don't use contractions. You also don't need to say "for me." This is your essay so you don't need to reiterate that it's your opinion.

I'm not going to go through and fix every contraction, but you probably should.


Again with the "for me." I don't think it's necessary, but maybe others disagree. Also, this phrase is pretty trite. You could fill in any extra-curricular and say "______ is life"


Really like this line.



Ending needs work. Really standard conclusion.

Good luck!

You stand out because of good writing. The content includes no spectacularly novel ideas, but it is very well written. The abruptnes you mention is hard to avoid when they impose a limit of 150 words, and actually, abrupt writing is awesome!! Many of the most popular writers are very abrupt, and it captures people's attention.


Do you really think the admissions essay will influence your chances of making the team? I don't really think it matters, but I could be wrong.

Most importantly, be confident, because you did very well with this, and it contains real energy that most writing lacks. I think it is a winning essay!

Michael may be right about the contractions. It depends on the reader's ideas... it may or may not be safe to use them. I think, however, that it is okay to say "soccer, for me, ... "---- because you are expressing something particular to you.

One more thing: Hey Michael!! Good call... the ending is not worthy of the rest of the essay! The ending could be more original and pack a harder punch.