Anxhela: Eleven years ago , I did not know I was starting an activity which would turn into a have been my life companion. Volleyball means a lot to me you should reword this sentence. It simply is not simply a pastime, but it requires energy, enthusiasm and teamwork that frees my mind once I enter the gym reword this sentence also. It is confusing. Serving, running, passing and smashing spiking could be the simplest actions but they need concentration, intuition and determination; all characteristics that make me transfer to another world, where there is nothing beside the ball, the field and my team. Questions, discussions, plans are out of my mind and are not able to enter it. They start appearing to me only once finished the training, once in the car. I disengage my handbrake, start the car and once I speed up I am back to the real world.
The last two sentences need to be reworded; they don't make sense at all. There are some grammar issues also that creates confusion. Focus on a specific experience from volleyball that has changed your characteristics or approach.
|