Here are my suggestions:
"It is eight P.M. and no essay. Hours of pondering and analyzing every ounce of inspiration I have leave me with nothing. Of course, maybe I should not have frolicked about with my nine month and three year old cousins whom I had to baby-sit. Or maybe I should have sat in my room and stared at my notepad until a light bulb went on, instead of raking leaves in the wee hours early this morning. So now here I am, sitting on my couch helping my sister pick a Halloween costume while simultaneously attempting to create a great answer to a puzzling question: "Who Am I?"
Instinctively, the first words that pop into my head are "..... ......." ....., my first name, has identified me for the past seventeen years. Raised in a predominantly Caucasian neighborhood, as a child I was always embarrassed by my name. It was too different and too obscure. But, as time gradually progressed I began to accept my name and, much to my own surprise, started to fancy it. Outwardly it was just approval of a name; clandestinely it was a choice. A choice I made to remain an individual rather than to assimilate with a crowd.
The two parts to my name seem to be perfectly indicative of me. ..... is an Arabic word meaning "Shining Star." These are not proper nouns, and as such should not be capitalized. This meaning perfectly translates to my beliefs regarding faith. I consider myself religious. However, I do not fit in with the majority of worshipers; I "shine" ever-so differently. My outlook on Islam (my religion), or theology in general, is dissimilar to that of the average Joe's. Blind faith does not appeal to me. I feel that religion should be rooted in learning and understanding. One should be able to question or challenge their beliefs and be presented with a formidable response. This is why I teach a second grade class every Sunday at the United Muslim Association. I want my students to understand that Islam is about a way of life rather than an adherence to a set of rigid rules.
My last name, ......., translates to "Catechu (plant)-people," a reference to my father's family business in India. Accordingly, as you have just witnessed, ....... is indicative of my ethnicity. While America is my pride, India is my passion. Bollywood (Indian version of Hollywood) movies are my ultimate pastime. Indian dance is a regular hobby of mine, practiced everywhere from the corners of my room to the stage at a party or school event. Oh, and let me not forget the best part about India; my family. The majority of my relatives abide in Udaipur and elsewhere in India, whom I eagerly wait to see every summer. They are the biggest lifeline between my heritage and I.
So, what happens when both "......" and "......." are conjoined in unison? As with any mixture or recipe, both ingredients retain their properties but also form a unique substance, which in this case is called ..... ...... I (..... .......) am a perseverant and curious individual with a goal in life. My philosophy of perseverance can be compared to the mindset of a track athlete. I view hurdles as challenges rather than obstacles that every human will face, but it is how one deals with the hurdle, whether one stops (giving up), walks around it (taking the easy way out), or jumps over it (succumbing to it), that defines who they are. In my case, my preferred method of hurdle handling is to jump. My second quality, curiosity, is the fuel that drives my life. I am not hesitant to question a belief or person. I like to ponder the who's, what's, and why's of society. My goal in life is to continue being a fun, loving individual who lives life to the fullest and has the ability to bring a smile to a stranger's face.
Thus, my name, ..... ....... is my identity. It is a trademark or a patent, so to speak."
I hope this helps.