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Rye Neck High School; U Michigan/ Community I belong


cjmaggio17 1 / -  
Oct 17, 2013   #1
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.

I have been lucky enough to find myself at the core of a great, nurturing community for the past four years. Rye Neck High School is the sort of home that I hope to have again with my college experience. Since I attended a small high school, with less than one hundred students in my class, I got to know all my peers personally. This small community was actually advantageous, particularly the theatre department.

I started out my work in theatre as an actor, but soon found myself enamored with all of the technical aspects that it had to offer. I worked my way up through the rankings and in time became the head sound technician. This was a very important role in all the musicals that I took part in, and I look forward to continuing my job as head of sound in the play this year. It feels wonderful being around a group of people who are just as committed to theatre as I am.

Attending Rye Neck High School allowed me to grow as an individual and as a part of a community of people that function best as a unit, but it was a little too small for me. A major draw of Michigan is the amount of opportunities and a large student body and , as I yearn for an even greater community to be a part of. However, I will never forget all those who I had the pleasure of working alongside at Rye Neck.

Can you guys please give me your opinions on what you think? I will be submitting it tomorrow night.
stemerson 3 / 5 1  
Oct 19, 2013   #2
I think you should add more about how being the head sound technician and being apart of this group has allowed you to grow. Maybe highlight more about you and less about the theater program you were apart of. Overall, I think this essay is very good although I was a little confused by the second to last sentence, maybe edit that. Hope this helps.


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