This is a very rough draft. I literally just finshed writing it. Still working on a conclusion but please read what I have now and feel free to comment on anything you feel I could improve. THANKS!
A. The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice?
I waved goodbye to my parents and joined the queue to security check. "Don't look back, just let it go." I kept repeating this to myself. In all honesty, not until now had I truly understood the complexity of human emotions.
I had been waiting for this moment for months. After 15 years of being closed up in a bland box of a world, my mind rebelled against the boredom of a homogenous life. I wanted to immerse myself in a new culture. I thirsted for new, unordinary experiences. Going to school in England seemed like the perfect solution.
I was excited. I knew uncertainties awaited me in the darkness ahead, but I had no fear. This was my chance to break free. But what about everything I was leaving behind: my loved ones, a place called home, and a land where my roots are. I couldn't help but turned around. Through the busy crowd, I managed to take another peek of my parents, both of whom I adored. Mum was leaning on Dad's shoulder, with tears rolling down her cheeks. As soon as our eyes met, she quickly wiped away the tears and squeezed out a smile. Dad held my mum tightly with one hand, and waved goodbye at me again with the other.
The sight of my parents slowly disappeared as I neared the security gate. For the first time in 15 years, I was on a journey to a faraway place, all alone. I walked through the gate, and my life was forever changed from that moment.
The two years I spent in England opened my eyes to a whole new world. For the first time, I was indulged with stunningly blue skies and wide spaces; for the first time, I was required to wear business suits as school uniforms; and for the first time, my immediate family consisted no longer of my parents, but a single mother and three teenage boys. I had much time to travel, which brought me into intimate touch with England's rich and colourful heritage and culture. I walked through the house where Shakespeare was born, had lunch in the coffee club where the legend of the Beatles all began, and attended a service in the Cathedral where Queen Elizabeth II was crowned. I followed Winston Churchill's footsteps in the underground bunker where he and his war cabinet worked throughout the air raids on London during WWII, marveled at the magnificence of Stonehenge (and wondered the mysteries behind it), and was stunned by the relentless beauty of ancient Romans architecture in the town of Bath. I even passionately chanted the "Westham till I Die" song along with thousands other fans when my host family took me to a West Ham match.
Of course, my time in England was much more than merely a time of excitement. I soon became fluent in English, and even picked up a slightly posh accent and a quirky sense of humor. With my proficiency in English, I quickly fell in love with the freedom of being able to share my unique views and values, whether it was during a class discussion of the rising power of China, or a Sixth Form debate competition about the human rights record in third world countries. Being one of the few overseas students at school, my British peers frequently bombarded me with questions about the place I came from. Some asked if my parents arrange my marriage, others wondered whether dog meat tasted delicious. I soon realized the little knowledge they had about my country, and felt the importance to share my culture in my new environment. With the help of several of my tutors, I started a Chinese Culture Club, and held regular meeting every week. I showed them pictures of my hometown, taught them about traditional Chinese holidays, and even dared to touch the controversial subject of Chinese politics. We participated as a team in the Dragon Boat Race organized by the local Chinese community, and celebrated Chinese New Year together in a local pub.
Surprisingly, my British peers weren't the only ones that learned something about my country. So did I. As I opened my British friends' mind up to the beauty of my native culture and human diversity, my perspective of my country has also changed. Being away from my homeland gave me enough distance to look at my country through objective eyes. I would never forget being accused a "brainwashed communist" by one of my fellow classmates during a heated discussion. Of course, my classmate's remarks hurt, but it made me look inside myself. I wondered if I had really been sheltered, or even "brainwashed", in the environment that I grew up in. And as I neared the truth, I soon began to recognize my country's faults, as well as its numerous strengths.
It's a bold claim you make at the start... that you now understand human emotions.
Maybe solution is the wrong word, because you have not presented a problem. Can you think of a word other than solution?
They are asking you what you will contribute, and you are telling them a story. I think that, at some point in the story, maybe near the end, you should come right out and give a sentence about hat you will contribute. You must have a lot of perspective and enthusiasm to contribute.
The sight silhouette of my parents slowly disappeared as I neared the ...
