to help the teachers write a recommendation.
This seems disingenuous. The teachers should keep extensive notes about your accomplishments and activities. They should be experts on you and should not need you to write the material to be included in their letters of recommendation.
when you do a quote, use a comma instead of a period:
I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forwa
rd," sai d Thomas Edison.
Okay, your writing is very nice; it shows your intelligence! I think, though, that you should focus on filling it with as many accomplishments as possible. I don't think this is very useful: "I got in ----- Magnet school where I'm a junior now."--- it is too obvious, not useful for the recommendation letter.
Write as many inspirational and impressive points as you can -- your accomplishments, adversities you have overcome, and especially classes and teachers that profoundly influenced you.
:-)
Give them a lot of material so that they will write a good letter!