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'refined job placement and career assistance' Statement of Purpose for the U of TX


trina_ch93 2 / 2  
Feb 6, 2012   #1
Transfer applicants are expected to write a SOP, this is the prompt.

Here is my essay, what do you think of it? How can I improve it?

The glistening lights, the ear-piercing sound of cars monotonously honking their horns, the overwhelming large crowd of apathetic people scurrying about their business, the strange yet colorful scrawling on the walls - what sort of jungle was this? From a four-year-old's perspective, this was Hell. This was anything but "exciting" as my uncle had described it. This was New York City.

As I look back at my childhood I wholly appreciate the manic city that is New York. I have always been surrounded by people from different backgrounds proudly speaking in different tongues, and this made it easier for me to enthusiastically learn about my Bengali culture all while holding onto the one I was growing up in. Being raised in one of the most diverse cities in the world has not only broadened my curiosity towards other people and cultures, but also has made me more open-minded, allowing me to view things from various perspectives. I want to attend a university that holds all of the values I grew up believing, therefore the University of Texas at Austin is the perfect institution to continue my college education.

I am applying for admission to the School of Liberal Arts with the intent to major in Psychology and minor in Sociology. In terms of my interest in Psychology as a career field, there are several experiences that have triggered my passion for this study. The first is the fact that a close family member of mine is diagnosed with a developmental disorder. As a child, I had difficulty comprehending why my cousin refused to play hide-and-seek and hysterically cried when people would laugh or clap around him. I became more accepting of his condition when I realized that he had a disorder known as autism. Being around him and learning more about such disorders is what made me more observant towards problems and changes in behavioral patterns.

The second and most perplexing experience was when a family friend started demonstrating psychological oddities that I could not understand. Normally very optimistic and attentive, her erratic behavior put everyone at unease. My family and I were baffled when she was hospitalized for drug abuse because her personality didn't fit the description of a drug user. How was it possible that a bright young woman as herself had suffered from a seizure related to cocaine-use? The incident boggled my mind for days and left me with a myriad of questions: why do people resort to drugs despite realizing it's potential harm? What is it about these substances that cause addiction? How do they affect our brain? The science of Psychology aims to answer such questions, and for that reason I am interesting in studying it further.

The University of Texas at Austin's well-known success of providing professional opportunities to its graduates is alluring. The School of Liberal Arts is specifically recognized as having a highly refined job placement and career assistance program for graduates at all levels. To fully exploit my potentials, I need to study at an institution that will provide me with the best resources, faculty, and educational tools, and that is why I would be honored if I were given the opportunity to study at UT.

---Thank you in advance for the insight!
hbui1991 - / 4  
Feb 6, 2012   #2
Your essay flows really well, and I absolutely love your introduction because of its creativeness and its descriptiveness. Just some things that you might wanna think a little more deeply about:

- Since it is a personal statement, should you expand it a little more? Some things to think about: maybe compare between Austin and New York? They are drastically different, in terms of people, cultures, and living habits? How are you gonna adapt to the change? How is UT Austin gonna help you get involved with the Austin community?

- You said that you wanted to major in Psychology and you gave reasons for that. But how can UT-Austin fit a person who is interested in Psychology like you? Maybe cite out some researches they have, some distinguished faculty in your field or some volunteer opportunities with psychologically disordered victims that UT-Austin offers.

That is all my recommendations for now! Hope they can help you some how! Good luck
OP trina_ch93 2 / 2  
Feb 8, 2012   #3
Thank you so much :) Now that you mention it I definitely should expand it more. I was worrying about jumping from describing NY to attending UT and not including a link between the two. Since you noticed it, I'm sure admissions will also. Wouldn't want that to happen!


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