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Reasons for transferring (NYU's BFA Program of Dramatic Writing)



judasThreads: 5
Posts: 27
Author: Aaron Smith
 Likes 2  
Mar 29, 2009, 07:57pm   #1
This is my last essay for the common app. Any suggestions on how to make this essay stronger/stand out are greatly appreciated.


Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

Attending the NYU's BFA Program of Dramatic Writing would be the opportunity of a lifetime for me. It is my dream to become a playwright/screenwriter. However, I do not yet have the sophistication, knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed as a writer. I feel that NYU, above all others, can guide me toward that goal.

I am a first generation college student and very committed to my education. I have successfully completed my freshman year at UCSB and I feel that I have matured tremendously in that time. The most important trait that I have learned from being independent for the first time, deals with being a cosmopolitan person. I have lived, studied and worked alongside students from diverse nationalities and religions. The key is to become a master of communication with teachers and fellow students, all of whom are a part of the community at UCSB. I would bring the value of this insight and maturity with me to NYU, thus ensuring my success while there.

What sets the BFA Program apart from all other writing programs offered is that it actually allows me to live the life of a writer, while continually learning. The workshops and discussions with agents and producers would not only improve my writing, but teach me the mindset of the people I will work with in the future.

Where will I be in the next ten years? I could be a successful writer for a premier sitcom like "Saturday Night Live" or I could be in a London flat creating the next great play. Whatever I end up doing, NYU's BFA Program of Dramatic Writing will be the first step in achieving my goals.



Mustafa1991Threads: 10
Posts: 420
Author: Mustafa
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Mar 29, 2009, 08:03pm   #2
What separates NYU's program from any other program?

Why do you truly feel it is important that you be accepted?


judasThreads: 5
Posts: 27
Author: Aaron Smith
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Mar 29, 2009, 08:14pm   #3
Mustafa1991:
What separates NYU's program from any other program?


What sets the BFA Program apart from all other writing programs offered is that it actually allows me to live the life of a writer, while continually learning. The workshops and discussions with agents and producers would not only improve my writing, but teach me the mindset of the people I will work with in the future.

Mustafa1991:
Why do you truly feel it is important that you be accepted?


Attending the NYU's BFA Program of Dramatic Writing would be the opportunity of a lifetime for me. It is my dream to become a playwright/screenwriter. However, I do not yet have the sophistication, knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed as a writer. I feel that NYU, above all others, can guide me toward that goal.

Whatever I end up doing, NYU's BFA Program of Dramatic Writing will be the first step in achieving my goals.


Are you saying my answers need to contain more detail?


Mustafa1991Threads: 10
Posts: 420
Author: Mustafa
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Mar 29, 2009, 09:02pm   #4
Aaron, essentially what I'm saying is why is it that you couldn't say these things about any other college?

Why would the BFA program increase your level of sophistication and increase your knowledge and wisdom?

If you had to describe this program to someone, how would you describe it?

What does it entail, and more importantly how does the quality surpass that of other similar programs?


EF_SeanThreads: 6
Posts: 3,666
Author: Sean, EssayForum.com
[Moderator]   
Mar 29, 2009, 10:32pm   #5
Mustafa is right -- this essay needs to be more specific. You could use this essay for any application to any university with a similar program. Or is NYU the only place that offers a BFA in Dramatic Writing? If not, then you need to add in details about specific NYU courses and professors, or about specific aspects of the NYU campus that makes it better suited to you than any other university. You might want to look at their website to see what they are using as their selling points, and then try reflecting some of them back in your essay. Good luck.


judasThreads: 5
Posts: 27
Author: Aaron Smith
 Likes 2  
Mar 30, 2009, 11:05am   #6
Thanks for the recommendations. I'll keep them in mind during the rewrite.


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,154
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
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Mar 30, 2009, 05:12pm   #7
Hey, I look forward to seeing the next draft! I see that all but the second paragraph are quite short, so you could actually accomplish that specificity by adding a sentence to each of those short paragraphs. Find room in each paragraph for a sentence about your SPECIFIC, UNIQUE interests and the school's SPECIFIC resources -- which are what attracted you to it.

That is the kind of clear plan that impresses admissions people.




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