Since getting a computer for my sixteenth birthday, I have been drawn to learning.
Let's change the word learning to something else. It will be difficult to compete against applicants who have enjoyed learning since kindergarten. Let's change it to "research." (i.e. web research.)
If you want to be a neurosurgeon, this essay should include references to some recent articles written by specialists in this field. It should be full of specific statements of intention.... Right now, it seems superficial, because it shows how you sort of drift into philosophy and then neurosurgery. Spend a paragraph proving that you have read something more than Yahoo news... journals like Applied Neuropsychology and Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery, and Psychiatry.
If in the past year you have not read at least 5 recent articles from professional journals like these, you should select 5 and read them. Then, write a killer middle paragraph for this essay, and let it be full of evidence of your proactive effort toward catching up with what is going on in the field.