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Ranking,renowned faculty,programs& research opportunities; Columbia App:Why Columbia?


bsabrine 2 / 2 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #1
Prompt : Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.

Here's my first draft:

When it comes to choosing a university, we immediately look for its ranking, its renowned faculty, programs and research opportunities. Obviously, Columbia possesses all of these appealing qualities. (With its world-class faculty and various areas of studies and its Core Curriculum, Columbia finds its place as one of America's top universities.) I would not only receive a prestigious education but I would also grown into the person I would like to become by making significant contributions to the world. I see in Columbia the opportunity to surpass myself and acquire the motivation to always the best of myself

(However, my attraction to Columbia isn't only for the education). Its community, campus and traditions allure me. I love how Columbia reflects the atmosphere of New York City, an atmosphere that fosters creative thinking, self-enhancement and puts us straight away into the working field. I love how each student is unique and contributes to an amalgam of people with different minds, traditions and cultures. I love how Columbia encourages us follow our passions by introducing us to various subjects, languages and environments. I love how the College Walk looks like after the Tree-Lighting ceremony. I love sitting on the Low Steps or lying on the grass near La Maison FranÄ‚§aise to read a book. But most importantly, I love the way I feel each time I cross the main gates. I feel at home. I feel full. I feel passionate. I feel lucky to be there and hope that one day I would be a Columbia University student.

I've put in parentheses the sentences I really don't like.

Thank you so much for your help !!!
chillyp 4 / 9 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
im just gonna say that you need to be WAYYYY more specific.
and the first sentence? of your essay says "we", change that to "I".
You are specific in the latter part of the essay, but you need to be specific in the academics portion, etc...

please provide constructive feedback on my essays, good luck
OP bsabrine 2 / 2 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
Thx ! I'm gonna look at it right now :)
yisha 6 / 33 8  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
Your essay is pretty good, just try to make your words precise to meet the requirement.
Good luck!
enigma33 2 / 44 3  
Dec 28, 2012   #5
You seem to not have a really good idea about how a "Why Us" essay should look like. Don't worry I had the same problem, trying to describe how my personality matched that of the university's but it isn't specific at all. They want you to talk about programs and things ONLY columbia offers. For instance, I could substitute Harvard in the first paragraph and nobody would notice the difference, and I could substitute NYU for the second and again nobody would notice. You have to write an essay where every sentence is Columbia specific and if you put a sentence in another essay it would seem out of place

Hope I helped! I would also really appreciate it if you took a look at my princeton essay!


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