hey you missed the latter part of your prompt ;) you shouldn't put it too long in the headline..rewrite the prompt and so those who give comments can stick close to it and help you make improvements on your essay ;)
"I Picture that if somebody asks the people who know me best they will describe me as an independent, persevering, enthusiastic and abiding goals type of person. In other words distinctive or unique "
this opening is a little bit awkward for me..you can try to rewrite another one better...
"In other words distinctive or unique " : this sentence is fragmented.
"I don't believe in giving up, but I do believe
in getting up and overcoming
reaching my goals and dreams
realizing my dreams. This is why I believe that my person will contribute or cooperate with UCF in a positive way. I love to be team leader and to show others how far you can go. I will contribute to UCF by fighting against negativism and by helping the student body of the UCF community to build and maintain a healthy, safe and beautiful community. For example, volunteering to help other students, clubs or even any department that seeks for my help "
you should diversify your sentence structure..while reading this paragraph, I'm flooded with sentences starting with " I will" or " I believe"..this makes your essay not really strong...
just my 2 cents :D
good luck ;)