Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4


Purdue Essay - Professional and Personal Goals ("engineering is challenging")


hgielj 1 / 1  
Sep 29, 2010   #1
Please critique in any way possible to help me out (any little bit will help)! The prompt is Describe how your Purdue education would support the attainment of your personal and professional goals.

As I have entered into my senior year of high school, I have begun to take into consideration which college seems right for me, by helping me to accomplish my personal and professional goals. Purdue being ranked 11th place for the best engineering college in the United States seems like the obvious choice for me, since I want to pursue a career in engineering. Also, Purdue has many clubs and extra curricular activities to allow me to have the best four years of my life.

Ever since middle school and through out high school I have wanted to become an electrical engineer. I feel like this would be the right career for me, because I have always loved math, solving problems, and working with electronics. Back in seventh grade I started Algebra 1 which put me two levels ahead of others in my grade and as a junior in high school I took the highest math class available at my school, AP Calculus, and scored a 4 on the AP test. Even though I was ahead by two classes in math I never had trouble understanding the classwork or homework. In fact it has always been my favorite subject no matter how difficult it may seem to others. This year I am also taking an Introductory Engineering class which I am learning the basics of engineering and in college I hope to build on these basic ideas.

While taking these higher level classes I have developed my professional goal of becoming an electrical engineer. When I look back on high school and how much I have learned through out my classes I know I have advanced, so much, towards becoming an engineer. Now the only hurdle left in my way is getting accepted into Purdue. I know if I am accepted I will be able to reach my professional goal and graduate from Purdue with an engineering degree.

The social life at Purdue seems perfect for me because I am continually involved in some type of club or activity at all times. From fifth grade up until junior year I was in cheerleading and I meet many of my friends from this cheering. I was part of the Mu Alpha Theta team my sophomore year and my junior year I was in the ASL club and track. This year I hope to join the girls lacrosse club, track, and a few more interesting clubs. Every one knows that college is said to be the best four years in your life, and I know at Purdue I will feel welcomed to join a new club or activity. Although, I know I will be working hard to keep my grades up, the social life at Purdue will keep me busy having fun and sometimes I might need a little de-stressing. I hope, in college, to join many clubs and sports so I can meet some new friends and make it the best four years of my life.

I know Purdue is the right college for me because I know I will achieve my personal and professional goals there. I know the work level required in engineering is challenging, but this means that I will be able to receive an outstanding education, because I will be pushed to do my absolute best. Purdue, also, has a great social life that will be able to support all the clubs and activities I participate in.
jonb 2 / 5  
Sep 30, 2010   #2
Good but,
....the social life at Purdue will keep me busyoccupiedhaving fun and sometimes I might need a little de-stressingand more often, relaxed . I hope, in college, to join many clubs and sports so I can meet some new friends and make it the best four years of my life.

Also, you have presented your proffesional goals, but you've failed to present your personal goals. You used "the best four years of my life" twice and this (sorry to say) seems like a personal goal.

Aside from this, I think the essay is nice :).
You could just re-edit and put in new ideas when you think of them.
mea505 - / 265  
Sep 30, 2010   #3
Jessica,

I think that your essay is great! It really tells us something about yourself and your own aspirations and it tells us why you want to pursue a degree at Purdue. I hope that you do well; you do know that EE is an extremely difficult course!

Along with the other corrections made in the previous post, I am offering these to you as well. I wish you luck in your endeavors!

--Mark :)

Purdue,being ranked 11th place for the best engineering college in the United States, seems like the obvious choice for me, since I want to pursue a career in engineering.

When I look back on high school and how much I have learned through out my classes, I know I have advanced, so mucha great deal, towards becoming an engineer.
OP hgielj 1 / 1  
Sep 30, 2010   #4
Thanks so much for the help!!


Home / Undergraduate / Purdue Essay - Professional and Personal Goals ("engineering is challenging")
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳