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'president of my school's Newzpaper, The Flame' Stanford extra curricular Elaboration.


Akuhah 4 / 10  
Dec 29, 2013   #1
Does this sound too corny?? this is a true story btw... and does it matter that i'm over the limit by 16 words??

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (150 word limit.)

It has always been my dream to become president of my school's Newzpaper, The Flame. As president, it is my responsibility to produce bi-weekly and monthly publications of the Newzletter and Newzpaper. During the last year however, it has become increasingly difficult to do so. As a direct result of the cancellation of the 2012 Christmas edition of The Flame, a club that once had over 50 members now only has one.

Despite the drastic reduction in membership, I am determine to continue to keep the legacy of The Flame. I am unfazed by the fact that I single handedly write, edit and customize the paper and after every stamp of approval from the principal, sell the papers by myself. I remain unfazed because running the Newzpaper has always been my dream and nothing and no one will stand in the way of that dream. After all, hard work, sacrifice and dedication are the fundamentals for the journey to success and I hope to continue that journey at Stanford University.
quanny 9 / 36 2  
Dec 29, 2013   #2
wow i think it is not corny at all. it really sounds very impactful!
toonistic 1 / 8  
Dec 29, 2013   #3
Sounds pretty good, but you could also add a line on what you've done to ensure the newzpaper will continue after you're gone... (make something up if you haven't)
OP Akuhah 4 / 10  
Dec 29, 2013   #4
im lost for space>> thast y i havent included it
Kristoria 3 / 51 1  
Dec 29, 2013   #5
The first sentence is somewhat unnecessary seeing as that in the 2nd sentence you state that you are president. I guess you probably ran out of words and you were trying to state how important a dream it was for you to become president. However, with the essay as it is now cut out the 1st sentence for some words. However, I would recommend taking the advice above about giving an eg of how you tried to keep it alive. That will be hard wit your word prob but maybe you could cut out these words "As a direct result of the cancellation of the 2012 Christmas edition of The Flame" and just say that it has become difficult because club membership declined.
OP Akuhah 4 / 10  
Dec 31, 2013   #6
thanks for all your help. i removed the first sentence and it does sound better without it.


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