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Playing table tennis/ soccer: Activity for pleasure/ MIT question


dauren_95 1 / 2  
Dec 14, 2012   #1
please can you write opinion about my essay
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

One of things I've learnt on my first year at high school is playing table tennis, that time I could play it without stopping .Actually, I find playing this game very useful during breaks in studying ,because it really helps to my brain to rest and I like to have a conversation on different topics with my playmate .

As well as I get much pleasure playing soccer ,at school I used to play couple of times per week with my classmates. Another thing which comes close to me is ice skating, especially in the winter at open air with lovely music, it's just an indescribable feeling.
thespoonguy 6 / 23 1  
Dec 14, 2012   #2
I know this sounds harsh but you need to do it all over again. Pick one activity and stick to it. If its table tennis then say more about it. Just the fact that it helps you relax and leads to interesting conversation isn't enough.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 14, 2012   #3
Pick one activity and stick to it. If its table tennis then say more about it. Just the fact that it helps you relax and leads to interesting conversation isn't enough.

I think thespoonguy's comment makes lots of sense. I too would suggest you to stick to one activity and tell them how you enjoy it; how it helps you as a person; how keenly you engage in this activity. You need to bring in lots of life into this answer. As it is, it does not sound so interesting. It's better if you can cite an incident or an experience and convey all your ideas through that. : )
TAMEN 1 / 2  
Dec 25, 2012   #4
The essays is not showing enough of you and how an activity brings you pleasure. 100 words is not enough to explain multiple activities so stick to one and show how it is pleasurable. Taking table tennis for example, 'show, don't tell' how the game is wonderful and thrilling to play.

Hope this helps.


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