Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Here's my essay for this prompt, please be brutal.
Any help is appreciated, thanks to all.
Talent was something I never attributed to myself very easily. I was always a very insecure and pessimistic person; partially because of the people I let affect me and fully because of myself. Even though I never realized I had talent, I still pursued one thing with determination: playing the electric guitar. But starting lessons my freshman year of high school, I never knew that it would become the reason I could finally change my outlook on myself or find out who I wanted to be.
The reason I started to play the guitar was something I am not very proud of at all. I did not even think I would like playing the guitar; I just wanted a reason to show off. I knew that people who played an instrument usually had a lot of friends, and I thought it would help me finally fit in. What I soon came to realize was that it was something I really did enjoy doing. I knew I did not play well after the first few months, but I persevered. I soon became good enough to join a local garage band, and this finally made me feel like I was worth something.
This band became my source of accomplishment and something to turn to whenever I was feeling down. Still, I never viewed it as anything above mediocre. Sure I could do something that not many other people could do, but I would chastise myself for even the slightest mistake. I wanted to be perfect and this did not present itself as an obstacle in my life until I became depressed over my inability to be perfect. I tried so hard to be something I could not be, something no one could be and it ate away at me. I was stuck in an impossible to please mindset that lasted for quite a while.
It was not until someone close to me made me realize that I was worth something, that I could be anything I wanted to be, that I got over this torturous mindset. He knew that he could not just spoon feed me what I wanted to hear, so instead he showed me what I had already done in a new light. Instead of just viewing my accomplishments alone, he taught me to compare it to things I had already done. I learned how to acknowledge the fact that I was improving at a fast rate and I finally accepted the fact that I was never going to be perfect. Instead, I used my want to be perfect to fuel my ability to improve myself even further.
After 3 years of playing the guitar, and constantly improving, I realized it was a huge part of who I am now and who I want to be. Being a musician is not something just anybody can do, creativity is something you have to possess. Creativity does not come from practice either; it is something you have to realize that you have the ability for some points in your life. At this point, I knew I had found out who I was and I finally replaced the negative outlook I always had on myself. Proud of whom I am now and the fact that I know I can be anything I want to be, I know that I will be able to excel in college. Creativity is something that many people do not think of as applicable to everything, but I believe it is and I am confident that with this mindset and talent I will be able to succeed in any aspect of life.
and fully because of myself. ----I understand that you are taking responsibility for it, but I think instead of "myself" you can write "my XXXX" (use a great noun here).
Even though I never realized I had talent, I still pursued one thing (how about a better word than thing) with determination: playing the electric guitar.
Use hyphens in a situation like this:
I was stuck in an impossible-to-please mindset that lasted for quite a while.
Instead, I used my want drive to be perfect to fuel my ability to improve myself. even further.
use three
After 3 three years of playing
This is awesome. You explained your introspection very well. Have you written any lyrics!?
Hey, you can probably find gigs and make a lot of money, because music can draw people to a restaurant and bring a lot of business. Learn about entrepreneurship, and popularize your band's brand name! :-)
