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the Petri Dish + NY City + M. Luther King from the past - NYU supplemental Essays



turntablesppThreads: 6
Posts: 82
Author: Priyanka Parmar
   
Dec 25, 2010, 05:24pm   #1
Hi, all these essays had a limit of 500 characters! :)

Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

As I peered into the Petri Dish with the bacterium, I saw the antibiotics being produced in colors of bright violet and crimson red. I never realized that the cure for prevalent diseases could lie within a small organism. I choose to study pre-professional medicine at NYU because I hope using the knowledge of microbiology research and the experiences in the medical field of volunteering at Long Island Jewish Hospital to help save the lives of many people by becoming a doctor.

NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

A global network university is one that encompasses culture, and diversity. Studying at NYU, would allow to me fully absorb the blends of the various cultures and the diversity from this campus's atmosphere. Having always lived in an area where diversity is present, I understand the necessity of partaking in a "global network", in which I would be able to challenge my values and beliefs to become a more holistic person.

If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

I would bring Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. from the past. During his time, he was a freedom figure, whose only goal was to break the forces of segregation and bring about unity. I would bring him to the nation's capital of Washington D.C., the same place where he told his "I have a dream speech" 50 years ago. I want to share with him how his simple, yet powerful words of wisdom rang in the ears of future generations and even though he was not there to see it then, his "dream" did come true.



dlankiThreads: -
Posts: 34
Author: John Barnes
   
Dec 25, 2010, 05:37pm   #2
your essays are all fine and answer the prompt nice and consise
I see no gramatical errors.
just--
Having always lived in an area where diversity is present
---I think you should include the name of the place. saying an area is too vague

Overall, you are all set for application and have good solid essays.


turntablesppThreads: 6
Posts: 82
Author: Priyanka Parmar
   
Dec 25, 2010, 06:29pm   #3
Thank you! However I feel that my first essay is a bit clunky and wordy, any suggestions?


onimpulseThreads: 2
Posts: 23
Author: Patrick P. Calderon
   
Dec 25, 2010, 06:44pm   #4
^ It's fine up until this point: I choose to study pre-professional medicine at NYU because I hope using the knowledge of microbiology research and the experiences in the medical field of volunteering at Long Island Jewish Hospital to help save the lives of many people by becoming a doctor.

That, first of all, should not be one sentence.

I almost feel you don't need all that information in there... you can say "I wish to study pre-professional medicine at NYU because I hope to, one day, use this knowledge to..." or something else to that effect.


turntablesppThreads: 6
Posts: 82
Author: Priyanka Parmar
   
Dec 26, 2010, 02:06pm   #5
Okay thanks, is this better?

As I peered into the Petri Dish with the bacterium, I saw the antibiotics being produced in colors of bright violet and crimson red. I never realized that the cure for most of the prevalent diseases could lie within a small organism. I wish to study pre-professional medicine at NYU New York because I hope to, one day, use this knowledge to provide a real benefit for the treatment of diseases.


kevin4082003Threads: 1
Posts: 3
Author: Kevin Chuang
   
Dec 27, 2010, 07:07pm   #6
Good responses to the 2nd and 3rd question!

As I peered into the Petri Dish with the bacterium, I saw the antibiotics being produced in colors of bright violet and crimson red. I never realized that the cure for prevalent diseases could lie within a small organism. I wish to study pre-professional medicine at NYU New York because I hope to, one day, use apply this knowledge in the real world and to provide a real benefit for the treatment of diseases help save the lives of many people.

^I feel like this sounds a bit more enlightening.


turntablesppThreads: 6
Posts: 82
Author: Priyanka Parmar
   
Dec 28, 2010, 10:58am   #7
Thank you! I feel like my response to the first question is so generic!

Okay..so I fixed it up a bit. Does this answer the question, and sound better?

Working in a research lab over the summer, I came across a Petri Dish lined with bacterium. Peering into the dish, I saw the ...


SEE BELOW

(482 char)


turntablesppThreads: 6
Posts: 82
Author: Priyanka Parmar
   
Dec 28, 2010, 01:40pm   #8
Is this better guys?
Working in a research lab over the summer, I came across a Petri Dish lined with bacterium. Peering into the dish, I saw the antibiotics being produced in colors of bright violet and crimson red. I researched the different properties and function of the antibiotics because they hold the key to curing many prevalent diseases. I wish to study pre-professional medicine at NYU because I hope to, one day, apply this knowledge in the real world and help save the lives of many people.

(482 char)


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Jan 5, 2011, 08:17pm   #9
Wow, you are a perfectionist! Build intensity by adding brevity:

Working in a research lab over the summer, I came across
Peering into a Petri Dish lined with bacterium, I saw the antibiotics being...

Awesome ending. I hope the AO reader appreciates it as much as I do!




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