Here are my suggestions:
"I have read A Brief History of Time written by Stephen Hawking. I admire Stephen Hawking very much. He is not only one of the greatest astronomers throughout history, but also an invalid who faces many more difficulties than normal average, common, orthodoxpeople. His spirit on scientific research and his daily life has influenced me in my interests, my character, and my world view significantly.
When I first read his book, I was attracted by the fascinating universe. Where did human beings come from? Why is the universe the way it is? Does time have a starting point? Although they are big questions, they are attractive to me. I asked my physics teacher questions about astronomy, and searched for information on the internet when I was confused. I exchanged e-mails with a Harvard professor. He gave me lots of valuable suggestions and a website which releases the newest achievements in astronomy. I spent all my free time reading and studying on astronomy. As a result, I learned gained, acquired, posesslots of knowledge information, facts, intelligence about the universe. I became able to understand high-toned theories, like why the universe is expanding, how scientists found black holes, and how we can perform time travel. The more I learn on the mysterious universe, the more I am interested in astronomy.
Stephen Hawking's experience also affected my character. He became paralyzed when he was studying in Cambridge University. The doctor told him that he could only live for approximately two years, but he would never be defeated. He keeps fighting against his fate. He is still living today and has great achievements. His story encourages me. When I face challenges, I cheer myself on with his spirit. I tell myself to never give up because Stephen Hawking never did.
Stephen Hawking's philosophy also has a great effect on my world view. "We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star" Hawking once said. I always considered human beings as the cleverest creatures in the world, but I never compared us to creatures from outer space. Maybe (Remove comma) what he said is true. Who knows? I always used his words to warn myself, just like no one knows whether or not E.T.s exist. There are so many things we do not know about the world, which is why we always need to keep an open, curious, explorative attitude and gain knowledge, while still being open to others' advice.
Mr. Stephen Hawking teaches me so much from his story, his behavior, and his spirit. I admire him and hope to be a person as intelligent as him one day."