Hey, I'm writing my common app essay on my topic of choice--my passion for kids..
Here is the hook..
My grandfather's favorite western shows, my little sister's laughs, and the clinking of pots in the kitchen faded out of my mind as I put on my earphones. I turned the music up and I was let free to float atop the soft beat and wander through the soothing melody. I let negative thoughts flow out of my head as I was tenderly caressed by the rhythm and relaxed by the singer's smooth, rich voice. I cranked the volume higher and I laid my head back as I searched for a gateway to a peaceful state of mind.
I took a deep breath and fell deeper into a state of calm and tranquility, but suddenly my world began to drift away from me. The singers voice seemed to fade in and out of my head as my earphones were tugged away from my ears, pulling me out of my paradise. I opened my eyes to see who was responsible for the collapse of my peaceful mind state. I look down to find a small, round face smiling up at me, pointing at my earphones, which were then crooked and halfway off of my head. As quickly as I had realized what she was asking, I returned the smile and put my earphones on my little cousin.
She stood there in front of me laughing as she jumped around-I mean danced to the song. I began to laugh as she put on a performance for me. When she grew tired of these antics, she went off to find some toys to play with. Her mom, my older cousin, then asked if I could watch her for a while. I gladly agreed and waited as she said goodbye to her daughter.
Her mom approached the door and the gate slammed shut behind her. This marked the beginning of a long day. She watched as her mom got in her car and drove away. Almost instantly, she began to scream and holler in attempt to get her mother back. I rushed to her in attempt to stop her tears. I tried giving her a toy to play with, but she just dropped it and continued bawling. I got her an ice cream and still her fit would not cease. My ears began to throb with annoyance and pain from her shrieking. I attempted to call her mother, but she did not answer. I attempted to calm her once again. I turned on the TV to the silly antics of Spongebob Squarepants. She stopped crying for a moment, and I thought that my work was done. I sat down and breathed a sigh of relief, but then she looked out the window and began to shriek again. In desperation, I scooped her up off the couch next to the window. I calmly told her that nothing would happen to her and that she would be okay. I held her close to me and patted her on the back. All the while, I was swaying her side to side, reassuring her in a soft, calm voice that she was okay. Her crying soon calmed to a quiet sob, and as I rocked back and forth with her in my arms, she fell asleep.
Recently, I have been struggling to find what people keep saying is my "passion in life". My understanding is that I am supposed to have one thing that I love to do. I thought about everything I liked to do: photography, drawing, math, working with computers, but nothing seemed to pop out at me. Nothing screamed "I want to do this everyday, for the rest of my life". At one point of time, people knew me as the aspiring lawyer of the family. Then, I moved on to wanting to be the next best businesswoman. But, just as the dream of being a lawyer faded away, that castle in the sky did too.
I have always been presented with the opportunity to watch little kids. But, I never realized how much I enjoyed the time I spent with them. I have always thrown myself into being their friend and role model. And, as I held my little cousin, and soothed her fears, I realized that I loved doing that. I love being around children, they brighten my day no matter what. I appreciate the challenges that they present me with and I look forward to pursuing this "passion" throughout my life.
How is it so far? Any corrections? How's the idea?
Any corrections?
My grandfather
' s westerns, my little sister
' s laughs, and the clinking of pots in the kitchen
slowly drew out of my mind as I put on my earphones.
The italicized phrase doesn't quite work. Did they fade? Wash away? Recede into the background?
You should focus more on your experience working with kids and how that affects you. Not the "opening introduction" to a story book. In application, there is no time for backup stories or lengthy introduction. Go to the heart of it, you will be surprise at how much you can learn from babysitting, the challenges and the gratification and how that solidifies your desire to work with kids.
