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My Parents -Stanford Supplement Essay What matters to you


lch920619x 5 / 19  
Dec 23, 2011   #1
What matters to you, and why? 2000 Characters

I have beautiful dreams, lofty ideals, and well-thought plans about my life. However there are two people without whom all my pursuits would be meaningless and in vain. My parents are the most important in my heart.

I used to be so numb that I do not really care about my parents and what they do for me. Like many other children, I even had a negative attitude to them during my period of adolescence. It was after a bitter quarrel with my parent I left my house in a rage. I stayed out until night fell. When the surroundings turned dark, everything became so scary. I regretted my thoughtless action and started to miss my parents and my warm home. I walked in the cold wind for two hours, and when I finally get back home, it was almost midnight. I plucked up my courage to knock the door, and waited for a scold. I heard hurried footsteps before I was held in my mother's arms, so tightly that I could hardly breathe. Something came into my notice besides my mother's swollen eyes from crying. My parents were all in bare feet. It reminded me of an article I have read, in which the author wrote:" When you knock a door at night, only the one who loves you the most will open the door for you in bare feet." I finally broke down and wept aloud.

After that day, I had a brand new manner with my parents. Even when they did something really wrong, I would control my temper and talk to them nicely. I always spoke to myself:" Never hurt the feelings of the people who love you the most in the world." I think it taught me more than that; I started to be grateful to everything and every people around me. Life became much brighter.

My parents are the people I can count on for motivation, inspiration, forgiveness, and comfort. And most importantly, whenever I look them in their eyes, I can always see love that endures through all, no matter they are acting as scolding parents or kissing parents.

Any critics are most welcomed. Thank you in advance!
metalstriker 6 / 16  
Dec 23, 2011   #2
You've got a grammar mistake: used to be so numb that I did not
and i think towards them during my period of would be more appropriate.
for a scolding or , waited to be scolded

other than that, i think you should put more emphasis on why you love your parents or what about them you adore instead of only focusing on the negatives.

:)
OP lch920619x 5 / 19  
Dec 23, 2011   #3
Thank you metalstriker! I will work according to you advice.

Anyone else?
GraceTaylorWei 12 / 41  
Dec 23, 2011   #4
After that day, I had a brand new manner with my parents . Even when they did something really wrong , I would control my temper and talk to them nicely. I always spoke to myself :" Never hurt the feelings of the people who love you the most in the world." I think it taught me more than that; I started to be grateful to everything and every people around me. Life became much brighter.

1) Try rewording? "I treated my parents with a brand new perspective"
2) "really wrong" sounds a bit juvenile, perhaps "even when I felt indignant"
3) I always "thought" to myself/reminded myself
4) "The mantra taught me more than that..." It is a bit vague.

That's all the criticism I have, I like the details and imagery :) Good luck!
I would really appreciate it if you could read my NYU essay too :) Thanks!
OP lch920619x 5 / 19  
Dec 23, 2011   #5
Thank you very much! You are really a good writer, I like your advice and essays very much.
kt94 3 / 9  
Dec 24, 2011   #6
Hey, thanks for your feedback on my essays.

I personally think that you could expand on how you felt as your mother embraced you and that the third paragraph could be reworded to present them in a more positive light. I especially think that 'Even when they did something really wrong' would not be the right way to represent them.

I found this prompt the hardest to write and would appreciate feedback on it if you have time.
Good luck!


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