URGENT URGENT URGENT
Hi, I've been reading a lot of essays on this site and I thought I could use some criticism. Please, by all means, be harsh and critical, don't hold back! I'll return the favor if someone needs reviews for their essays. However, I'm not a very creative or good writer. thanks for reading my essay, I really appreciate it!
Prompt:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
It was the end seventh grade when I first heard about LACHSA. LACHSA is filled with artistic students who strive to find success in their individual talents. It was love at first sight. I wanted to be part of that artistic community, however little did I know fate had a different plan for me.
At the end of 8th grade, I decided to apply to the art school. I carefully crafted my portfolio; it was composed of my best works in charcoal still life. After the interview, I felt confident that I was sure to get in. However, I was rejected. The rejection came as a surprise, and I had no idea where I had gone wrong. Did the evaluators not find the drawings of glass bottles and sculptures skillful? I began to doubt my artistic abilities. I remembered when I received the rejection letter, I felt heavy, and the whole room was spinning. I remember picking up my sketch book intuitively and trying to draw, but nothing was right. The position of the book, the brightness of the desk lamp, and the loud music from the neighbors made it seem like the world was mocking my failure. As I sat down and tried to draw again, I felt foreign in a place that was once familiar. Every time I tried to sketch a picture, I crumpled up the paper in frustration, unhappy with the result.
Nevertheless, I tried to put aside my frustration and to concentrate on enjoying the simple act of drawing. As time passed by, I realized that I did not need their acceptance in order to create art. I could still do what I love. Bit by bit, drawing found its way back to me; no longer did I restrict myself to draw what I thought the evaluators wanted to see. I was able to create art for myself, so I started exploring different mediums and subjects. I painted landscape in oils for the first time, I carved my own rubber stamps to make my own prints and I also designed fashion in watercolors. Finally I felt that my personality was beginning to show through my art works. I wanted to keep drawing despite my failure, and I was curious to see how far I could push myself. That is when I decided to try out for LACHSA again. I knew it was a risky choice, and the chances of failing again were inevitable. But I had to; I wanted to continue to test my abilities.
At the end of March, I was surprised to learn that I actually got into LACHSA. It became clear to that I did not have to conform myself to someone else's standards. Instead, I should have kept true to myself.
Now that I am at LACHSA, I feel at home. The initial rejection helped me discover my personality in art. I realized that even though I failed the first time, I should still keep trying, because eventually I will succeed. With my new found confidence, I find myself more willing to expand my boundaries to try new things, letting my curiosity run wild.
I'm not a creative or good writer either, but here it goes..
"It was the end
of seventh grade when I first heard about LACHSA." oh, and I think you shouldn't use initials yet in your first sentence, use the full name.
"
It was love at first sight. I wanted to be part of that artistic community, however little did I know fate had a different plan for me.
Maybe it's better if you write it like this:
"It was love at first sight; I wanted to be part of that artistic community. However, little did I know fate had a different plan for
"After the interview, I felt confident that I
would to get in."
Anyways, wonderful essay! From your story, I can imagine the person you are: tough, resilient and of course talented in art. I'm pretty sure those are traits that the college will love.
I hope my comments help even though they're not harsh or critical:)
Help with mine too, please:D
