Nursing Scholarship Essay for University of Texas at Austin Nursing very important to me!

Personal Essay Topic

Using the space below, type a one page essay outlining your nursing career goals (or why you have selected nursing) and why you think you merit a scholarship.

Your essay may not exceed 500 words in length ( currently at 499) really hard to keep it short...help with grammer, style or anything you believe can make this essay better. Thank you so much!

My close relationship with the hospital began when I was eight years old. My mom was diagnosed with depression and her severe illness was not something that was easily understood by me. While doctors were trying to find the right treatment for her, I could tell that my mom was not the same. My dad seemed just as confused as I was, but he never let go of my hand and did his best to keep me optimistic. After a couple of months in the hospital, we learned that the treatment was prolonged due to a mix up in medication caused by a nurse. Though my dad and I were upset about the error, all of my stress was relieved. After a month, my mom was released from hospital and she was able to come home. I kept a very close eye on my mom and took good care of her until she became stable. It was that incident and experience of taking care of my mom that sparked my interest in the field of psychiatric nursing.

High school opened up many doors for me, as far as allowing me to enroll in medical field courses. I got me involved with the Health Occupation Students of America (HOSA); an organization in high school for students interested in the medical field. HOSA was able to connect me to nurses at the Edenbrook Nursing Home. It became clear very fast that being a nurse was not an easy position and that nursing involved many tasks. Throughout high school, I gained valuable experience in the health care field and it became obvious that nursing is the path I needed pursue in order to achieve my goal.

College was the final step that would help direct my goal of having a career in nursing. Taking classes such as nutrition, pharmacology, and medical microbiology, I was able to not only widen my horizon of the medical world and fulfill basic prerequisites. Taking a nutrition course helped me organize a better diet plan and motivated me to exercise daily. The proficient knowledge that I gained from pharmacology has resulted in me being able to advise my friends about over the counter medication. These courses have enlightened me because I am able to take basic concepts and apply them in the real world. College has been a fun challenge, and I have embraced the difficulty to increase my knowledge as I enter nursing school.

As I continue to make a commitment to my goal, there always financial difficulties. I have always been independent so my parents never have to worry about me. Financial aid has always helped me stay independent. I believe I deserve this scholarship because I am ambitious to become the best nurse possible. I have always been persistent and passionate about nursing. I have overcome many obstacles and I will continue to do so. This scholarship can help lessen the burden I have put on myself as I pursue my degree in nursing.

"I got me involved with the Health Occupation Students of America (HOSA);" - instead you should say "I got myself" or " It got me" depending on what you are referring to.

"Taking classes such as nutrition, pharmacology, and medical microbiology, I was able to not only widen my horizon of the medical world and fulfill basic prerequisites." you should make the blue part an infinitive.

"I have always been independent so my parents never have to worry about me." - I think you should delete that, plus it is worded incorrectly.

"I have overcome many obstacles and I will continue to do so." - delete that as well

Most of it is fine, just those mistakes and one that I forgot to bookmark so I lost it

I thought it was a good essay but maybe you could elaborate more on the last few sentences. Give them some more reasons for why you deserve this scholarship.

That was a rally good essay. I like how you explained in such a short way to describe why you started to get interested in being a psychiatric nurse then fully explained how you started to get more involved in programs to help you achieve it. Good luck getting the scholarship!