Topic is "
biggest obstacle you have overcome "
I feel you have talked about your obstacle, described it well enough,
but it seems like you didn't overcome it, you just went away from it [
On the other hand, I have so many things
... ]
These are a few changes I feel would be better:
The most challenging obstacle I have had to overcome is growing up without my father being a part of my life.
- The most challenging obstacle I have had to overcome is growing up without my father
I never received a phone call or a present on my Birthday or Christmas.
I never received a phone call on my birthday or a present on Christmas.
flew across to the country to see him.
flew across the country to see him.
my father, his wife, her two children.
my father, his wife and her two children.
Those two children, who were not even blood related to me but knew my father better than I knew him.
I feel this sentence would be best if you said it like this:
They were not related by blood to my father, but they knew him better than I did.
After that I never heard back from him. And never saw the money.
I never heard from him after that, and the money never came.
I think about him a lot of the time
I think about him a lot