My Mom: Someone with an influence on your life - Common Applicatiton Essay

I'm not done yet but I need help with any punctuations or corrections I'm not good with writing essays so here it goes...

Throughout my life I have been influenced by many things around me. However my mom has been the most influential in all aspects of my life. She has always been there for me and supported me whenever I made decisions. During the most difficult times in my life I knew I could turn to her. I grew up in a broken home and having a single mother has taught me that I too can be independent; which was one of the best things that I have ever learned. My mother pushed me to my true potential and kept me focused on performing better in school. Overall, my mother has molded me into a better student and young woman.

Although I look up to my whole family my mom is who I admire the most. Her love for others is amazing. Despite the little she had, she we would always be the one to help the needy in our family and around the neighborhood. She is the strongest and most hard working woman I know.

She taught me to never waste time and to never let my dreams be deferred. Her words of encouragement gave me the will to succeed. After understanding how much I took attending school for granted, I changed my attitude and wanted to succeed and have a respective year because of my mom. With both my father and my oldest sister dropping out of high school, that pushed me to work harder and become a positive role model to my younger sister. Sometimes I had felt that a course was becoming too complicated or confusing but she was always there to give me advice about keep practicing the work and not to give up.

All in all my mother has made me the young woman I am today. Her outlook on life has been a great influence on how I have live my life.

Throughout my life I have been influenced by many people around me.
However, my mom has been the most influential in all aspects of my life.
Although, I look up to my whole family my mom is who I admire the most.

thank you janeypooh

It would be nice to read examples of each of these formative experiences eg. can you recap the most difficult time in you life when she helped you make a transformative decision or get through a major obstacle or insurmountable difficulty?

Mothers are there to do


How did she do this besides advice and peptalk?

Here is an idea for improving the intro to the essay:

Throughout my life I have been influenced by many things around me. However m My mom has been the most...

If you shave off the statement of the obvious at the start, the first words the reader reads will be interesting!
You say young woman twice, but I wonder if there is a better way to express what you mean. do you mean that you have become mature and that you are not a kid anymore? Maybe you are trying to say your mom inspired you to become a skilled professional and really take control of life.

Right here, you could say something about your plan for the future:
better student -- one with a clear vision of myself as a ________ in the next few years. young woman

:-)

As someone who interviews job candidates with this same question, let me strongly suggest that you choose a subject other than your mom. When I see thirty candidates a day, I don't have the enrgy to pay attention to someone talking about their parents... So I zone out. I'm certain that admissions committees are the same way... They want to see something unique and refreshing, not the same thing they have read 100 times already today. I think tour essay is a good one and I definitely hope you share it with your mom, but for the sake of your application, pick a new subject and start over. I'm not trying to be harsh- just helpful.

She has always been there for me and supported me whenever I "make " decisions.

During the most difficult times in my life, I knew I could turn to her...